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Anyone been in an argument over custody of a child?

Three days ago my ex and father of my child called and TOLD me that he will be picking her up on the 17th of December and taking her until the 26th to his parents house about 4 hours away. I have an issue with this because he has had no real role in her life, never spent any alone time with her, or taking care of her. Even when we lived with him for 5 months he was always too busy to be involved. I think that her being with him for that time and away from everything she knows will be a bad experience for her. Based on the papers we have from the court technically this is his year to have her for Christmas. My mom has told me that if I refuse to let her go I could get in serious trouble but I have no idea what will happen if I let her go with him. Has anyone else gone through this or know what will happen if I refuse?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on Nov. 9, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I've been through this myself. If you have a custody agreement and it's his time to have her, if you don't allow her to go, he could take you to court for "contempt of court". If you really don't want her to go, go to the court house where your custody hearings, etc. took place and file for some kind of "modification of visitation".

    you should never interfere with his visitation yourself. always go through the courts and have a court order to back you up.

    Answer by pugpin at 6:51 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Yup, been there gone through that. Call HIS mother and talk to her and see if she is going to be the one really taking care of the child. If the baby will be staying at her house for the visitation and see what she says. If GrandMa has no clue where he and the baby are going to stay dont give the baby to him. Let him take you to court. Then tell the judge what you learned from his mom because you have a right to know the address and phone number of where the Ex will be with your child at all times.

    Answer by vbruno at 1:16 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • if you do not follow the court order than it is you that would get in trouble. He needs to provide you with written notice that they're leaving the city, he needs to provide you with the address, etc. If I were you, I would call the court facilitator and see if you can file something to stop him from taking her out of the city.....don't get yourself in trouble though.

    Answer by a_and_j_momma at 1:59 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I understand where your coming from My DD is turning 4 in dec. and her father is in GA. for the army and so she is normaly always here. (90%of the time) Well when he got leave and came back from Iraq she went to stay 2 weeks with him and well needless to say he broght her home befor the 1st week was up due to the fact that she started.... wetting the bed, nightmares, not eatting, vomitting and so on. I had to call and talk to her ever night to get her to eat and she still would not eat much but the 4th day she had flat broke down and told her dad i want my mommy i had called right after words and he told me that he was bring her home becasue she was not liking the situation and was only hurting her.

    Answer by pooh_williams at 4:19 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • * I know that my DD was going to be this way because she is a mamma girl scens my ex has hardley been in her life. But i let her go and i told him that if she is to show destrees from this and he keeps making her stay in this and it is Phiscaly taking a toll on her than i would make sure that something was done to protect her. He know understands that she is at the age that she can not handle being away from what she is use to and being thron in with a diffrent enviroment. It only causes her to go back on any progress that i have made with her in all learning ablitays.

    Answer by pooh_williams at 4:19 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • * The Courts will tell you it is his time he gets her but make it clear to him that you want to know where they will be staying and that you want a phone number to reach him at. ALSO btw if he is going to just leave her at his moms and he is not always going to be there (unless it is work) you may be able to have the court to tell him that he must give up his time. that is what i got put into my paper work because ex would leave dds at his moms for 3 days and only see her 1 day and so i got the courts to fix that problem.

    Answer by pooh_williams at 4:19 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • * I dont know how your ex will deal with if she is stressing being away from you but i was lucky that my ex agreed that she did not need that. that it was only better for him to not take her for that long. that has been about 2 years ago she was 2 at that time. We are going to try again this year. but we agreed that if it dont work that she is coming home right away. It is only for her healty. mentaly and physicaly. As i told my ex Would you let her go stay with a complet stranger??? he said no and i told him what do you think you are to her. she dont see or talk to you for 9 months than you want to see and keep her for 2 weeks.

    Answer by pooh_williams at 4:19 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Sorry it was so long.


    Answer by pooh_williams at 4:20 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Do the papers have dates? If not then I wouldn't let him takes her until the day before Christmas and have him return her the day after Christmas. You didn't say the age but, I wouldn't allow him to be taking a child under the age of three for more than 2 or three days. If she is older than that maybe a few more days, but, 9 days is too long especially since he doesn't regularly take the child.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 6:13 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • my daughter is 3 (4 in January) and the papers just say that he is to pick her up the day school lets out for the holidays and bring her back the 26th. HOWEVER, the loophole I am thinking is that she is not in school...only a mothers day out program so does that leave me a chance to say no?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Nov. 10, 2008