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'Wanty' Kids

In light of the holidays, I've seen a lot of posts on other mom websites of moms bummed because they didn't get their kids what they wanted. I have a 3 year old DD, is this something I have to look forward to? My DD has not or normally doesn't ask for anything and if she does she can either save her money for it (especially if it is a high ticket item; $20 or more). Normally, if she asks for something expensive I tell her that we do not have the money for it (which we don't) and she will have to save her money and she is completely accepting of it; doesn't ask twice or throw a fit.

We bought her a $9 Black Friday vacuum cleaner for Christmas and she was just so happy with that! The little things are the things that make her happy; time with DH & I, cleaning her blankies, etc.

Are kids conditioned to their 'wants'? Are the wanting kids the ones in which a parent buys them everything and never tells them no? Am I in for a rude awakening or are we just blessed with a little girl that is happy with what she has and gets?

Answer Question
 
greensavvymama

Asked by greensavvymama at 9:22 PM on Dec. 24, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 10 (446 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • If people give them everything they want they don't appreciate it and then keep expecting more and more. You are doing a great job. Keep it up. Don't go overboard and she will appreciate everything you do give her
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:26 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • Well I spent 150.00 on an art easel for my DD. She asked for an art easel, but never told me what one, I just picked out the one I liked and thought fitted her needs. She is 12 and has talent, so I don't mind speding the money on her. Plus I saved for this.
    She has an 18 X 14 bedroom and keeps it clean. She goes has her own computer and an i-Pod Touch as well.
    But every weekend she goes with her Dad to work!
    DD recently had some High school reps come to her school and she is asking about going to a specific high school now. And has asked to go to an college that she heard of from school as well. She is in seventh grade.
    So we give her things, she never asked for these things, but she is our only child. But also a straight A student.
    idaspida

    Answer by idaspida at 9:29 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • I don't know if it's conditioned... we only give gifts for Christmas and birthdays, but my kids certainly have a list of 'wants.' My son in particular. He takes lots of time to go through the Christmas Wish Book every year to make a list of all the things he would like. However, he does know that we won't be getting all those things, and he doesn't pitch a fit when he doesn't get everything he wants. He's actually really appreciative of what he gets, even when it's not a big or exciting gift (for instance, today for Christmas Eve he got a pair of pjs, a paperback about the Titanic, and a tree ornament, and he pretty much knew it advance what it would be because it's the same Christmas Eve gift they get every year... and he was totally thrilled and excited to get it, said thank you ten times and we all got big hugs.) I don't mind if he has wants as long as he is appreciative and not greedy and expecting everything.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 9:31 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • Shoot youre an adult, dont you WANT things? I dont think its a rude awakening, they are children is all. They want thinks just like we want things. I remember when I had my daughter I was a meer 18 yr old and my mom told me kids always want things and to be prepared for that or I should not be a mom. She was right. Now I was also a single mom for awhile, so my kids do know the difference in need and want, and now the three oldest are pretty well adjusted people who dont expect everything on their list to come on Christmas eve. I try and get them one or two things, and the smaller kids obviously get more but when they are little what they want is cheaper. As they get older they want video games, cell phones, ipods etc.
    Just enjoy her being little now, before you know it the time will have flown by and all those wants will be behind, and you will wish she wanted more from you.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:41 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • Keep on the track you are on and you will be fine.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 9:49 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • @gemgem, please know I am not complaining at all. I was just asking a question since it seems that parents are more worried about pleasing their kids and it seems that they have set it up so their kids are disappointed when they don't get something.. I know everyone has wants, I do as well but it doesn't mean that every time I have a want I buy/get it.
    greensavvymama

    Comment by greensavvymama (original poster) at 9:52 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • Times are hard for a lot of people and even though we want to get our kids the things they want, it doesn't always happen. I wouldn't say that kids grow into that. Me and my sister are a perfect example, according to my mother. Anything my sister wanted she always got it didn't matter what it costs, she got it. Now me, I was the one that never really asked for anything. Although I could have, it just wasn't something that I would do and I still don't ask much. So, it's not always the parents that make the child/children this way, it's just part of their personalities. My 17 yr old son always wants the high priced stuff and we can't afford it. My youngest son 11, something little pleases him, he never been hard to please. It's amazing how different your children can be.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:13 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • I am not raising my kids to believe that they will get everything they want or that things will be replaced if broken. Some parents buy things for their kids regardless of their behavior and those kids have no appreciation for anything really. Keep doing what you are doing and you will reap the rewards as your child grows into an accountable and respectful adult!
    khedy

    Answer by khedy at 12:16 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • It is the age group...I have been told that I am in for a rude awakening when my son gets older because he is super grateful for everything right now too.
    TitusMom7

    Answer by TitusMom7 at 3:24 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • I think it's a mix of personality, parenting (or lack of) and the age. At 3 they are just becoming aware of themselves, their wants (beyond food and love) and that there is a world out there full of really cool things they would be fun to have. Eventually they realize they can ask for these cool things. That doesn't mean you have to get it for them. When I hear parents complain about advertising during kids shows and how it makes the kids whiny and ask for everything and then, what?, they feel obligated to buy it? I never have. I tell my kids they can want something all they want (LOL) but that doesn't mean they will get it. We also haven't hidden from them that we're on the poor side. My kids usually only get stuff at birthdays (not always), Christmas and Easter. Rarely do they get stuff in between.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 7:51 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

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