Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I don't really understand how a guy could love 2 of his kids but not his third...? adult content

He was a friend... a good friend, and one night things got heated, first and only time I had even kissed him! Now Im 27 weeks pregnant and I havent heard from him in 2 months.

He has a 5yr old. Which he loves and claims. He is separated from his wife(A different women)(before we got together he was separated) she is about a week or two away from having their baby. (I didnt know anything about her til after we had sex, other then they were separated.) He is completely excited about her baby... though she wants nothing to do with him. Especially after she found out about me through someone else. That was about 2 months ago.

I understand that it's a lot... but this is still his child too... He has tried his best to completely stress me out, from the time I was 5 weeks until I was 20 weeks. He drove me crazy... When I first started to show, he told me it was just a fat roll... really bothered me. He told me he was going to jail for 300 days for driving with out a license. It wasn't true. He told me he tried to commit suicide. Which apparently wasn't true either... He has told me several things to try and upset me. I told him just to sign over his rights and I would leave him alone, he said okay. He wanted a DNA test too, which is fine. I don't care. I know it is his. I wish it weren't. I just don't understand how someone can only love 2 out of their 3 children...

We did have one moment he seemed interested... we were talking about names when I was about 10 weeks pregnant. He got into it, because I was the only one out of the 3 women who were going to let him help pick out a name. That lasted about 30mins....

I just feel like I have failed my baby boy... he is going to grow up not knowing his biological father... nor will he know his 2 brothers! It's killing me... :(

Answer Question
 
sissy0604

Asked by sissy0604 at 9:39 PM on Dec. 24, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 16 (2,692 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • honestly he sound like a loser and i wouldn't worry u sound like u are going to be a wonderfull mother n father to that blessing of a baby it will be hard but u can do it is ur family strong if so i would lean on them right now i would honestly continue trying to get him to sign over his rights unless u need the u need the child support because of the chance of him wanting to just come in and out if that babies life n hurt him more then make him feel loved i believe u will find someone later that will love u and that baby the way u deserve to be loved hope this makes u feel better
    millerchic

    Answer by millerchic at 9:46 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • At some point he might change his mind, its not your failure either way though and thee are tons of men that abandoned kids, their first sets, last set, and/or those inbetween, some only like the kids of the woman they are with at any given moment regardless of if th ekids are theirs or not, some men never claim certain kids...............................just as some women have given birth and later claimed the child wasnt theirs--------------------how does a woman with records of giving birth even do that but it happens. There are people who feels remorse and some who dont, you should just do what you can to move forward for your son's sake and show him how much you love him regardless of whether his father is around or not.
    kingkongsmom

    Answer by kingkongsmom at 9:50 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • i completely undderstand. my dd father didn;t even see me once during the entire pregnancy. didn;t tell anyone and he has another son that he was with every other weekend ect. and once after she was born he claims he wanted her. but he wont sign over rights. he wanted to do it his way and i was like no we are doing it my way. we live in differnt states. i say just leave it alone. just go on your merry way. if you need child support go for it. and file for custody as soon as you can. or better yet just ignore him. i am sorry about all this but part of me wishes i never told my dd daddy that i was pregnant. again he was a good freind too. go figure once there is a pregnancy that all goes out the window. you are going to be a fantastic mother and that is all that baby needs.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 9:54 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • Thank you... very much. I do have a good strong family behind me. Especially my mother. She has taking on the roll of a bf or husband when if comes to cravings and making sure I am happy & comfortable. I have been put on bed rest, so she has really stepped up and taking good care of me and my baby. She is very excited for him to get here. I just don't know what I am going to say to Tj when he gets older and wants to know where his daddy is... if I haven't settled down.

    I would rather him not be there at all... it isn't for me. I really wish bad things for him(The biological father)... I just feel bad for my child... That is after all his biological father. Though these days it doesn't seem to mean anymore to people then being a sperm donor... I just don't want my baby to have issues with men later on, because his father wasn't there for him.
    sissy0604

    Comment by sissy0604 (original poster) at 9:58 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • Thank you all. I really appreciate the kind words and support. Most days I do good not to worry about any of this mess... I just have pregnancy hormones take over every once in awhile.

    lambdarose- I really hate you have had to go through the same. However, you seem like a very strong person. :)

    I hcope you all have a very Merry Christmas!
    sissy0604

    Comment by sissy0604 (original poster) at 10:05 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • drop the looser your baby boy will be just fine with you....
    MELRN

    Answer by MELRN at 10:37 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • im in the same boat as you! i was with what i thought was the best man i have ever been with. we were together 8 months, looking at places to live together and talking marriage. he is an awesome father to his son and daughter from a previous marriage and i fell in love with them. i was on the pill, but i dont think we gave it enough time to work before we trusted it and i came out pregnant. which was kind of miracle to me as i overcame a type of cervical cancer and was thought to never have children. i wasnt ready to become pregnant at that exact time but considered it a blessing and figured since we were talking marriage and he loved his two children so much that it was going to be ok. well, he ran for the hills and said he had planned to live life with me but not have any more children. what the hell is that?!?! so i am now almost 5 months along with a baby girl and havnt heard from him since....i dont get it!
    dez1379

    Answer by dez1379 at 11:46 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • its not easy, but we are strong women and we will get through it. my dad keeps telling me that a better man will come along who will love to raise my child with me, that daddies arent always biological. so just try to stay positive and happy that you have such a beautiful gift coming to you that will make your life so worth living. keep your faith, good luck and i will be praying for you and your little one to be :)
    dez1379

    Answer by dez1379 at 11:48 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • Honestly I don't think he loves any of the kids. He can just sign over his rights so you can move forward. Anyone can be a father. It takes someone really special to be a daddy. Good luck!! I'm glad you have a strong family support system. The baby is going to need all the extra love.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:23 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN