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I guess i'm selfish...anyone want to agree with me? adult content

This is going to be long ladies.

Dh and I have been together for 9 years come Feb. Our relationship has been anything but easy. Wasn't until a year ago that we started to really work on things and for the most part things were going really well. Then the other shoe dropped. Financial problems. Dh and I have been paycheck to paycheck since the beginning and for 1 full year we had no paycheck to speak of. We lived in some of the most horrible places (i mean for almost 4 months we didnt even sleep at the same time because one of use was always up keep watch because of the neighborhood...but it was all we could get with practically no money).

Anyway dh is an OTR Driver and has been for 4 years now. At first he loved his job but its starting to wear on him. Thats to be expected. We have NO money, correction, we have 13.00 left in our savings. Why? He likes to lend money to unreliable people...thats why. He lent a "friend" he hadnt talked to in months...430 dollars, another guy he has only known 2 months, 120 this list will go on and on. Anyway he tried to QUIT his job in November and that was a disaster..He put us further into the hole.

I have penny pinched as much as I can. I walk my kids to school on good days to save on gas. I buy as many non-name brand, cheap items as I can. We dont eat out. Honestly ladies I could use a new pair of panties. My hair is in knots, but I just wrap it up with a scarf. I have done so much for the sake of our family. I know he sacrifices, and I do too. But this issue is one I am having a hard time with and he and his family think i'm selfish and spoiled and so forth.

His parents live with someone that really wants them to get out. His parents and us all staying together..Not going to work out at all. So instead his parents and dh are pushing the idea of buying this land not to far from where we live now and dh and I are supposed to buy a trailer to live in(with 4 kids btw) and his parents will live in their trailer right next to us. Ladies when I say i have sacrificed. My preggo butt walked to the hospital with baby #3...walking is good for you yes, try walking 1.5 miles to the nearest hospital, feeling like the baby is going to come out on the sidewalk....why did i do that? why not catch a cab or something? because the money we did have he wanted to keep to make sure he could get some batteries and a new game to play.

Now this trailer stuff. God knows I want to work. He claims up and down..the kids need me home(our kids are 8,7,5 and 1 btw). The way I was raised is if you are not bringing home a check your useless. Well call me useless because thats how I feel. He does not want the kids in daycare because he says he does not trust anyone. I feel that although I may not bring in as much as he does at least I could help, pay a bill or something.

Am I wrong for not wanting to live in a trailer?

BTW...the penny pinching..He has a Driod X from verizon. Look it up ladies. The phone was almost 800 because of his credit and his bill is 170 a month. My phone, 100 bucks...40 a month. I pinch he does not. I just feel like i've given so much already. Throwing a family of 6 in a trailer (we could afford, which would be small) would just be too much.

Am I being selfish? I know I gave you guys a lot to read. Sorry.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:37 AM on Dec. 25, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I AM living in a trailer, and trust me, it's not ideal, but it's a roof over my head!
    I'm sorry your husband is a douche with money.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 5:54 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • I dont think you are being selfish. We had a family of 4 living in a trailer and we hated it it was too small and we were always stepping on eachother. I think your man is being selfish and you should give him a swift kick in the you know where
    Rockabye

    Answer by Rockabye at 6:47 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • No way are you being selfish. I totally think you should get a job. Right now you aren´t living, you´re existing. Not fun.
    Syphon

    Answer by Syphon at 6:49 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • HELL NO. i am sorry but you have to draw the line somewhere walking a mile to the hospital when your the one having a child six people in a trailer? I know how you feel that is why I went back to school and work I have started to take some responsibility for myself. You are not a child and if you need a pt job you should get one trust me if you do this will help your family. My soon to be ex was like no don't get a job stay home with the kids. Its hard when you know you can be contributing. I would do what you have to, to make it better. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:05 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • No. I don't think you are being selfish.

    I also don't see how he'd be able to buy land with 13 bucks in y'all's bank account. But if he can get a trailer on a piece of land with a payment you can afford, and the land is something you can build on, that may be a logical step, even if it's not comfortable.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 6:42 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • Of course you aren't selfish. I don't think I could manage in a trailer either. There just isn't enough space. There is nothing wrong with you getting a job. Especially if you could get help paying for daycare or hire a nanny. With 4 kids, a nanny might be cheaper.

    I don't know what to tell you about your DH and the financial issues. If it were me, I would require he hand over all things financial to me. Maybe that isn't a possibility for you though.

    I hope things work out for you.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 6:43 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • No, your Dh is being irresponsible with money, you aren't being selfish you are being responsible. Don't buy the trailer if you don't want to, it's your home too.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:56 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • Nope I'm with the rest. You are being selfish. he is an ass and needs to reprioritize his spending.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:25 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • Oops! meant to say AREN'T
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:26 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • I agree with you. Tell him to cut the crap if he likes being married
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:38 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

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