Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Friend issue here

I have a friend whom has a brother that I've had this stupid crush on for years. My friend and I recently got back in touch after 20 yrs, and I recently saw her brother with her and her fiance at a club recently with friends of ours.

He IS married, but having issues for years, and waiting to help his wife finish remodeling their house as not to leave that burden on her. Quite frankly I wonder if he would actually leave her, but they are separated, living together in different areas of their 5,000 sq ft house, I should say HER house from previous marriage.

I know it sounds juvenile to have such a crush, but I just thought he was cute back in the day, and still looks pretty good after all this time. Im not AFTER him, he knows of the crush I had on him cause the first time we saw each other after all those years I had said something like, Yeah I laugh cause back when I was 16 I had had this crush on you, but you said I was more like a sister and dated my two other friends. Some friend you were! And then he said you sure have a good memory, I dont remember saying that.

Well my friend *claims* that he recently was asking about me, when was I going to join them out for dinner on fridays and was I dating anyone, why not? How old was my child and was my childs father involved and would I be coming over for christmas today.

I know my friend is NOT just trying to get me to come over for dinner, cause she does not feel well but is having her family over anyways, and here she says he wants to know if he can pick me up or she can get me and he will bring me and my child home since we dont live too far from the other.

My main question is, should I see how HE reacts to me later on today or question him on if he actually asked about me to his sister, whether I was dating, was I available to go out to dinner on Fridays like they all do, etc. or let HIM say something?

He is not much of a talker and pretty much reserved, and he is SHY around me. How crazy! He is 50 not 20 but it's his demeaner, his posture when we are around each other. I am a few years younger, no spring chicken here!

Now as much as I like the fact that he knows I had had this crush on him many years back, no way would I try to have some relationship with him MARRIED, cause when I was married I never would mess around on my husband, I did not believe in that, married is married, I was not going to commit adultry though my nutty husband says I did and our child looks like some foreigner from another country! I would never do that to any woman. NO they have no children together.

I just want to know if my friend was just BSing me. Yes! I already asked her that and she said, No. Im serious, he wanted to know if I was having you and your child come over today and then was asking about your personal life and I said you can ask her when you see her if you are so interested in her. She has only had a crush on you for 30 years!

My silly friend I tell ya!

Im looking forward to going over there later, regardless whether or not he is there. I just dont know what to say to him, if I say much at all. At least I know he knows I can make him laugh if anything cause the first two times we all met up, I cracked him up with my personality and I said, Im not the same woman you knew years ago, but then you are not the same man I knew years ago either, your married and still older than I am! HA!

Thanx for any input. My bet my friend is just wanting me over there but to bring her brother into it. AND also tell my niece he had been asking about me. Things that make you go....Hmmmmmm?

Merry Christmas everyone!


Asked by Anonymous at 7:12 AM on Dec. 25, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Crushes can be fun. Just enjoy him as your friend's brother right now. If he wants to pursue something just tell him to make himself available (legally). It may give him incentive to leave and divorce her if he's miserable and separated anyway. Some men just hang around after a relationship is over bc there is no one else to hang with. He may want to hang with you! Go find out!

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:36 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • Play it cool and be his friend. I'd also see how he reacts to your child.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 5:49 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • I would say play it cool. Pretend like you dont know that he knows you have a crush on him (make sense?). If he asks about it, just say that you do have a crush but point out that he is still married. Your friend probably isnt BSing you.

    Answer by serioussifL at 7:43 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • you can do all of that and have a friendship (i use the term loosely) but the main thing you need to remeber is that he is MARRIED.......if he seems interested you might want to talk to the wife.....sorry

    Answer by cara124 at 9:40 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • yeah just take it slow down rush into it yeah play it cool & be friends with him

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 8:45 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • Thanks for the input Momma's! I must say it was an interesting day and good thing we spoke more than a few minutes altogether like before when at the club/breakfast when we did not speak much.

    Of course I know he is married and regardless of their personal situation, that's HIS business and I'd never even try to intrude upon that as he IS married in the eyes of God. And I'd never stoop so low to actually date a married man and unless I SEE legal documentation I would not see him should he ever just ask me out...unless he knew and says its as friends, nothing more ever. I would want some one along, like his sister, but after today he had been wondering how I had been all these 24 yrs since we had last seen each other and never really spoke.
    He knows of my crush and we all joked and laughed about our fun times back in the late 1970's and really had a nice conversation.
    I put it as sure the crush was fun as a kid... ( CONT )

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:08 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • (CONT)

    and at least hearing his side, being curious about me and my life was just that. My friend read more into the questions as I did, so today, Christmas day we had the chance to chat, and have a laugh about the good old days.I do not think he had other intentions. Which is fine by me, sure I love the idea of it, but yes he IS married and Im not a homewrecker! I dont care they dont have kids or not together as they are married. I got the crush off my chest and we all had a good laugh and he was not surprised by it as much as he claimed to be really. He knew.

    His sister my BFF as I said, told me once he left that he really seemed to enjoy my son and I there and he was in a much better mood than usual. And much more talkative. She said Oh he and his wife have their troubles but he just does not want you to know.

    I understand. Thats a personal thing. So friends it is--which is really fine by me.

    Again Thanx

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:21 AM on Dec. 26, 2010