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How do I tell DH im pissed about his ex gf?

My DH is deployed and he is buying a motorcycle. That's not the problem. The problem is he emailed his ex girlfriend to go and check it out and test drive it. I understand I dont know anything about them but my dad does. And he has friends that ride them too. Now he wants to know if I'm ok with him taking her on a ride. He will be home in Feb and i dont want to wait that long to tell him how i feel, but then i dont want him to worry being over there.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:49 AM on Dec. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Tell him now how you feel. You will worry for 2 months for a thing that you can just tell him straight away. He doesn't have to worry if he doesn't have anything to hide. It is understandable you don't want other women to ride a bike with him. He is away from you a lot probably. Than why he doesn't take you to try that bike out. It does not matter if you don't know anything about bikes. You are the wife, she is the ex. That's it.

    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 8:56 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • tell him how you feel!!! My husband called his ex on deployment and it ripped me apart. She is an ex for a reason. Time that to be in the past. And, umm, shouldn't he take you for a ride?!?!? I swear they lose their minds when they are deployed!!
    Sarahe786

    Answer by Sarahe786 at 9:09 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • Speak up now, or it will create a wedge.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:21 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • He's a good boy for being honest and respecting you enough to ask how you feel about it, I'd give him points for that, but that's still bullshit, he shouldn't be taking her on motorcycle rides or asking for her help for crap sakes, it's dangerous water he's treading in hanging out with her, I'd speak up now if I were you, it's not right...is it ok with him if you hang out with your x, go for bike rides, movies or what have you? Not right imo..you should be doing that stuff with each other not your x's, leave the past where it belongs, in the PAST, and move forward with your lives together.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • Definitely speak up now. Your feelings are just as valid as his, there is really no need to wait. I would be very upset if my DH took his ex on a motorcycle ride.

    I would say something like "Fine, you can take her on a ride. But as soon as you're done, I'm taking MY ex on a ride".

    I don't know your DH, maybe he wouldn't mind if you took your ex on a motorcycle ride...lol....but i know my DH would mind if i used his motorcycle to take my EX on a ride...lol...he would friggen FLIP!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:30 AM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • tell him.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 1:54 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • I would have told him the moment he brought it up. She is his ex. You are his wife.. Unless you 3 are close friends, I wouldn't let it happen. Exs are exs for a reason.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 3:53 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • Just tell him. There's no reason to pussyfoot about it. Talk to him on the phone (if possible; I know it isn't sometimes) or email him and tell him that you're upset.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 5:34 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • yeah tell him how you feel & that you want to go on the motorcycle ride with him & you dont want his exgirlfriend to just be honest with him
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 8:36 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • I'm sorry, but an adult man would have waited until he got home to buy a motorcycle. What, it has to be waiting in the garage for him when he comes back? I have had bikes, my father has bikes. You don't have someone else pick out your ride, sorry. This need of his to have a bike ready and waiting is causing way too many problems. He shouldn't be going to his ex for anything. He should have come to you before he asked her to check it out. You are partners now that you are married. He should have seen what resources the 2 of you have together to check out the bike pre-purchase. Personally, I would have told my DH that getting it was no problem. It just isn't something we can trust someone else to do for us.
    To address your direct question-You should tell him that you are fine with bike ride. However, you and your ex have signed up Latin dance/grinding classes together. It's similar to a bike ride with her crotch on his back.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 7:43 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

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