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2 Bumps

why would BM send my husband a gift on xmas from the kids if she has never done that in the last 7 years?

I believe she is just trying to disrespect me. Isn't it my job to buy my husband a gift in the kids name like I always have? how dare she!!!!

My question is being posted because BM is a nasty, ungrateful ingrate who tells her kids their father is liar.   She is not the normal BM who thinks about her kids first. Never once has she bothered to buy my husband a gift. I always have. This question is not because I am insecure in my marriage... My husband left her. The question is because I want to understand the thinking behind the act. That is all. I am stepmom who is dealing with a very insecure jealous woman and at times I might get wrapped up in it all  because I love the kids and hate how she uses them, and that is when I post on cafemom, seeking advice from all of you.

P.S.....B.M. means  " Biological mother" because as many of you know, you do not have to give birth to be a mother.  BM is a term that was introduced to me here by other women in cafemom. It is not an insult. I am a stepmother seeking advice from other women on how to handle this situation, I do not need insults, A stepmom is NOT a step down from a mother, it is the person who steps in to do the job of the birth or biological mother when she does not.    It is a team effort believe it or not. 

 Thank you to those of you who have answered in a  positive format.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:20 PM on Dec. 25, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (19)
  • Maybe she is growing up? Or maybe the kids have just gotten old enough that they wanted to.

    It could be that it has nothing to do with you.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 6:24 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • Hon, it's Christmas... let it go and be happy. Maybe she is feeling bad about her past life and wants to make it up. Forgive and forget!!


    Answer by m-avi at 6:26 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • Being a stepmom myself I would think the same as you. Just let it go it is not worth it she is obviously not happy my guess...Just act like it doesn't bother you and work dealing with her future surprises be the civil one you will go thru a lot of ups & downs GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 6:27 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • Maybe the kids asked her to?

    Answer by slw123 at 8:43 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • My step daughters mother always bought my husband gifts from their daughters. I never thought it was a big deal but I am secure in my marriage.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I would just be happy she is being nice. I used to buy a gift for my ex from "our" son...after all he is my son. I see nothing wrong with it sounds like she is either growing up or the kids asked her to get dad a gift from them.

    Answer by justgrape723 at 10:10 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • DIsrespecting you? They are her kids. I would guess that she is finally getting a clue. And now that she has, you feel insecure about it.

    Be happy for the kids. Let DH enjoy the gifts without the drama.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 10:33 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I really don't think it has anything to do with you. She's their mom and can give their dad gifts from them.

    Answer by Pnukey at 5:41 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • She is prob just trying to be nice. Since they are HER CHILDREN, I would think that she has the "right away' if you want to call it that. If she doesnt then, of course you could do it but if she does then quite complaining, they are her children and your husband is the father of her children

    Answer by JLS2388 at 9:35 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • And I don't send my dd's father a gift from her ( mostly cause he owes me so much child support, I feel like my not reporting him which would lead to him going to jail, is present enough lol) but if I wanted to buy the gift from my dd to her dad I would have every right to.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 9:38 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

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