Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

DEAD BEAT DADS (LENGTHY AND KIND OF RANTY JUST TO WARN YOU) adult content

Ok, so the father of my daughter get a new girlfriend..more power to him right? WRONG. Not a week after learning about her and her kids, my husband get a text at midnight on Halloween. It states that i'm am cheating on him, There's proof, and that i'm a bad mom and a gold digger. The gold digger part apparently is because i don't have job. I actually run the business end of my husbands business. Later we realize that the person texting and pretending to be the "man" i was cheating on my husband with was actually my ex's girlfriend. We had never met or talked before. She then said that the father was going to take custody and she was going to call cps and take my child. We called her out and after several attempts to reach the ex we decide to call him when he goes to work and she doesn't have his phone. We text him the next morning and he "lost" his phone and she still had it. So I called him at work..(angry mama don't give um THAT easy) He was supposed to call me after he got off to find out what was going on as I wouldn't tell him at work. He didn't call. So we did. We explained and he talked to her. She said she didn't know what had gotten into her. (AS IF) He didn't have anything to say about it..not even an apology from her! So I told him from then on he had to come see her here every other weekend since I no longer felt she was safe there. He didn't show. Two weeks later he calls. He had a fight with his girlfriend because she didn't want him going to a female friends house (jealousy) I didn't care really...he'd proven to be an idiot..bring my daughter home one time with TWO black eyes and just a she fell...(took pics. of them and every suspicious bruise thereafter. They stopped after my husband had a talk with him...) He was sporadic about coming to get his child and she always came back in a bad mood. He wanted to see her all of a sudden and being nice (not a strong suit for me) I told him he could. He never showed and didn't call. It is now Christmas day and we haven't heard a word from him. Do you think it would be wrong to allow my husband who has taken her in and is doing his best by her to adopt her? Or should I allow this jerk to keep his parental rights (I have full custody..he never fought for them.) and if you think i should let him keep his rights should I take him back to child support court. (Oh and if my husband adopts he can get on out medicaid..which he needs..he has dish disease and no insurance.)

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:01 PM on Dec. 25, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (18)
  • Well the court would have to terminate parental rights. He doesn't have custody but he still has parental rights unless he gives them up or they are terminated. Does your ex provide her with insurance? If not, who does. The court is not going to terminate parental rights if the plan is for her to go on medicaid after. I believe that is a condition of termainating parental rights, even if a judge does terminate they will tell you that if you go on any kind of public assistance, he will get parental rights back. It sounds like you deff need to get supervised visitation though if she is comming home with those bruises and his home life is so unstable
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 8:19 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • She does have insurance through him but she also has medicaid with me. his insurance actually doesn't actually help at all..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:22 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • I would let my husband adopt her.. It's his daughter now right? Feeds her, hugs her, puts her to bed... He is her dad.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 8:28 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • medicaid is through the state. The court is not going to revoke parental rights so that she can go on medicaid.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 8:30 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • They don't care if the insurance helps, sorry
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 8:31 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • Make sure your house is clean in case you have unexpected visitors! LOL Anyone can call CPS, they just come check it out and usually leave. If they do show, keep you answers simple. Don't be defensive, and don't offer any extra info. I have seen CPS take parents words and twist them and use them out of context.

    As far as he goes. It sounds like you should have filed a police report and taken your child to the ER if she came home with 2 black eyes. I'd would have had that investigated the day it happened. Don't let her go over there anymore. Tell him if he doesn't like it you'll see him in court, and tell him to dress nice. :)
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 8:35 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • I personally think you guys should give your child up for adoption your all morons. I find it hard to believe you could handle the business end of anything.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I think you are handling things ok so far. keep documenting EVERYTHING. Does he pay child support? There are a number of reasons for parental rights to be terminated and if he is found negligent and unfit they can be terminated providing there is someone there willing to adopt. Now the reason I asked about child support is in my state the law says that if the non custodial parent fails to pay child support 12 consecutive months out of 14 then the rights can be terminated. Also next time your daughter comes home hurt do take her to the doctor. The black eyes she had could have come from being hit or falling off a high area and bumping her head hard. I once took a fall off a top bunk bed and ended up with two black eyes. Good luck to you.
    angelmine2011

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 1:13 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I believe that is your daughters choice. Same situation in my home she wants to be my hubbys daughter but i told her to wait.

    If he is doing her ''fathers'' job at raising her than he ALREADY IS HER DADDY despite all legality
    mamabeard3

    Answer by mamabeard3 at 5:54 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • WHEN YOU GO TO COURT HAVE THOSE PICTURES YOU TOOK AND HAVE HER TELL THE JUDGE WHERE SHE GOT THEM AND WHO SHE WANTS TO BE HER DADDY.
    mamabeard3

    Answer by mamabeard3 at 5:57 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN