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2 Bumps

Pregnant, alone. single, single mom to a 3yr old.. support needed..

I am the proud mother to my beautiful 3yr old girl. She is amazing..she is the reason for me truly being here. I have no family other than my mom and sister and sometimes that relationship is rocky. They do live about 4000 miles away so that's a great distance. Since finding out I was pregnant I contemplated abortion everyday and at 8 weeks its still in my mind but I know I will not go through with it. Both my babies father is the man I feel in love with and still love after several yrs. I've been with him since I was 16 and will be turing 26 real soon. This man has hurt me in so many ways. After being seperated for several months we starting seeing each other and almost a year later I am pregnant with his baby again. He told me he loved me wanted us to be happy together and wants me to keep the baby and get a home together and now I have been suspicious because he doesn't come around anymore doesn't call me anymore as much . I asked him several times what's going on and finally yoday he said that he is not going to sit around waiting for me when he can be with someone else. He is talking to someone and he basically told me he won't stop a relationship from becoming serious with anyone. I am so hurt beyond belief. I left my family to raise my daughter with him. My whole family despises him and I'm just scared of the humilation of the ' I told you so'' I know if he gets serious with anyone. I will be completely alone. I fear ill be in labor home with my daughter and I'd have to drive myself. I'm afraid of being alone with two kids. I hate it and I'm fearful of my familys reaction. I feel like a complete failute. I have somewhat of a career, attending graduate school but the two kids unwed witjout a lovinmg man is so hurtful and shameful.I know moms around the world deal with this and make it out good but for me it feels like the end of the world. I have no friends no one I can depend on or call or jus be there for me. I'm in a state alone for him and I'm just left being unmhappy day after day.

I know this isn't a question. but know some of you can provide insightful advice tjat can make me feel better.

This is not a troll or spam and I'm truly in a bad place and just would appreciate advice and comfort.

I hate that my daughter sees me cry everyday and I don't want to be so unhappy around her.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Dec. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • *hugs* I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with all this alone. Just remember that you will always have those beautiful babies to love and care for. Your blessings are right in front of you. I know things can get really difficult sometimes, but when you focus on your beautiful baby(ies), you will find the fog lift a little each day. Good luck. *more hugs*
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 10:06 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • Thanks Kword
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:09 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • You are welcome. Everything will work out in the end if you do what is right for you and your baby/babies.
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 10:11 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • first off
    you know this man is not healthy for you
    2nd
    you are smart enought o go to gradschool, you can handle two kids being single
    3rd
    family will except you with open arms, and only one saying "i told you so" will be you, they will not=trust me=they will not say this

    can you move to where you have family?
    you are crying because 1st-you are full of hormones 2nd-you are going through a huge change/hurdle in your lifeand 3rd you are "losing" a relationship )but in my mind-this is a good thing for you-but you will not see this for a while-but you will know this is good he is showing you his real colors and it is ending-you will be glad in future
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:20 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • Sounds like you are doing great with the things you can control- your career, school and your daughter- remember that- what you control you do well so you are strong, you are worthy, you are good- the thing you can not control is how he feels about you and acts towards you. You need to let that go, you need to decide its his problem because you are a success, he is the failure. Being alone is not fun, but you have your success and your future- you are the worthy one, not him. Work on you and someone worthy of you will come into your life. Good luck!
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 10:32 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • I am the daughter of a single mother. I have 2 younger sibings 4 and 7 years younger. My mom was in a very similar situation you are in now. She had to let go of that man in her life to be a good mother to me and my sister and brother. She raised us even though she got plenty of disapproving looks and comments from lots of people (family included). You can't trust this man, you know it. You obviously have your head on pretty striaght if your going to school and getting your career worked out, and clearly you love your daughter. You can do it, it may take some sacrifices, but it's worth it in the end. You have got to be strong for your child. I wish you the best.
    LadybugTash

    Answer by LadybugTash at 1:03 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Damn, I think you sound pretty tough and I agree with everyone elses posts when they say you can handle it. You sound smart and besides there are lot's of women going through that no one wants to be in that situation but you sound like you can make it without him. Be strong and tell your family, if anyone says I told you so go off on them and tell them that you need support not bullshit. If they see the pain you're in I doubt they'll say that, let them think it, but I don't think anyone with common sense will say that to someone who's hurting. If you need someone to talk to feel free to click on me anytime. I'm a stay at home mom and try to put myself in other's shoes.
    nqmochafrappe

    Answer by nqmochafrappe at 3:09 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I am so sorry for what you must be going through. You deserve much better, and this guy is not worth your tears. Although right now, things may seem so overwhelming it will get better. Please don't think of yourself as a complete failure because you are not! You are doing the best you can, and that is all you can do. Your daughter will give you that inner strength you need to get through this. God blessed you with another little angel. You will slowly but surely see that although it may be hard you can do this. I am sending lots of prayers your way. Don't allow negative thoughts from your family to interfere with your life. Rather you know it or not you are strong you have made it this far. Know you are not alone God is with you. If you need a friend someone just to listen you can message me. "hugs"
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 11:33 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • If you want to go home, talk with your family first. Let them know you need their support, and NOT any negative comments. No 'I told you so'. Ask if they can do that, if not, don't go.
    You CAN do this. Find a church, find a support group. Stay in school and finish. You will always do better, be better then him. Always. Why? Because you ARE better. People that do this kind of thing, I don't think they can redeem themselves. He's doing this, knowing what he's doing. File for child support. Get what you are supposed to get. And move on. When he comes crawling back, which I'm sure he will, send him away. He's no good for you. You can make it, you can do more then make it. You will do great!
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 4:30 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

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