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need advice dealing with my boyfriends brother

my boyfriends little brother has recently been placed in our home. he's almost 12. he had been in foster care and was severly abused.
he is a very sweet little boy and we love him very much and are beyond happy to finally have him but we had no idea about the abuse, and we are having a hard time handling everything.
hes been diagnosed with ptsd, general anixety disorder and bipolar disorder.
he has sever panic attacks and flash backs. we're working with a therapist a few times a week but I'm hoping for some words of wisdom, advice, positive thoughts.
just reaching out, trying to find some support.
thanks laidies


Asked by allyg5361 at 2:05 AM on Dec. 26, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 3 (16 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Obviously, I'm not a boy, let alone a 12 yr old one, but I have been abused as a child, and I'm a military spouse, so I know several people with PTSD (though obviously for different reasons).

    I can tell you, from both perspectives, just be there for him - love him and try to be understanding, but do not allow it to be a crutch to act however he wants, whenever he wants - that won't do him any good. KEEP UP WITH THE THERAPY! I can't stress that enough! Therapy helped me to come to terms with what happened to me when I was growing up, and therapy has been proven to help SO SO much with PTSD - whatever caused it!

    Hang in there - I KNOW this is hard for you all, but trust me, in the end, it's going to be worth it! When you look at him and he's no longer this scared, hurting, damaged 12 yr old boy, but this strong, loving, compassionate young man - and he's that because you stuck with it and with him!

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:37 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Oh - I would suggest not just therapy for HIM - but I would also suggest it for YOU, as well - because this sort of thing is not just his problem - it's the problem of everyone who loves him. A would strongly suggest a good therapist who will work with him, and also meet with you (privately), as well as some family / group sessions for all of you together.

    Just keep in mind, this process isn't going to be a sprint, it's going to be a marathon - but just like most of us can run a block, but not feel a huge sense of accomplishment from it - not all of us can run a marathon - and those who do have a huge sense of accomplishment.

    Right now, you're running what will possibly be the most important marathon in your life, and almost certainly the most important in his - hang in there and don't give up!

    (((hugs to you)))

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:41 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Jesus is the answer.

    Answer by BagsRus at 5:49 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Be there for him, don't push him, don't ask questions. If he wants to talk just listen, don't give advice. Talk to the therapist, ask for family counseling on how to handle this. It's vey difficult, and takes a long time, but you can be a big help, just by being there, and modeling safe behavior.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 5:24 PM on Dec. 26, 2010