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Could he really divorce me, because I have herpes; even though, I've never cheated on him?

My husband told me today, that if he wanted to he could of divorced me because I have herpes. He made me cry and sad all Christmas day. I'm trying to be patient, with him because I've found it hard to believe myself and I know I didn't mess around. Growing up my parents insisted on giving good night kisses and now everyone has Herpes 1/cold sores. I've could of got it, from birth mother. I could of got it from the kisses and everyone has both (now wouldn't that suck), working in the health room or running my home daycare, or heck if I know. But, I know I've never f'd around. He got after me, because I always take things the wrong way. He said that he was just saying that if he didn't love me so much, he wouldn't be putting up with this crap. So I shouldn't take it that way. I'm tired of feeling bad for something that I didn't do, for something that isn't my fault. He is a really great husband (who knows everything and is never wrong), but he loves me, is a good father, provides for us etc. When you take a blood test, it shows on different levels you have the antibodies- which is good factor to detemine if you just got it recently. Myn is at the bottom, so I'm taking my 3rd test the beginning of the year. I'm just beginning to imagine life with out him, not that I want anyone else, who would want me anyway? I'm tired of all this, I'm tired of feeling bad. This is kind of ironic, I've always been super careful with blood, fluids, wash my hands about 15 times a day or more, and taken pride in having him as my one and only. It doesn't matter. I'm glad I don't have anything worse, but I'm tired of feeling bad, sad and double guessing myself to wonder what I did wrong. Anyone one want to share your thoughts?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:01 AM on Dec. 26, 2010 in Health

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • And, I guess you can divorce someone for anything....but I think a judge would think he was being ridiculous.

    Answer by PhilsBabyMama at 10:39 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • no advice mama. But hugs and Merry Christmas to you. DH gets cold sores sometimes...nothing Id leave him over. Maybe the holidays are getting to your man?? Who knows... But I hope things work out and If you know you have been faithful then thats all that matters. If he cant believe you and leaves...well then his loss darling! GL and hang in there!

    Answer by JakesCupcake at 3:06 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • He was being a major jerk by saying he could divorce you. I would have said do it then. You know you arent in the wrong so dont let him get you down.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:12 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Thanks for caring enough to comment. Ya, he already got me down and I don't want a divorce, I love him, but I'm not going to feel this bad, like I've been unfaithful and did something wrong. Although, I'm not sure feeling bad about this wont go away regardless if I'm with him or not.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:20 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Huh? Sounds like a jerk. Almost everyone has the virus that gives you cold sores. I have it. My parents do, my brother, my husband, two of my 5 kids (got it from me giving them a kiss before I realized I had a cold sore), just about every other friend I know. Did he get tested, too? Are you sure you didn't get it from him? Sounds like he's projecting.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Ya, he got tested for Herpes 2 and his is negative - myn isn't. I knew I had herpes 1 from my family kisses, but what I didn't know is that you can get genital herpes in your mouth, too. I didn't know you can get it from different ways than just sleeping around, which is why I'm trying to be patient. You know what brought this testing on? I thought he was cheating on me, because he came back from a trip complaining of burning and discomfort on his private.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:15 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • He's a jerk for saying that!.

    Answer by sstepph at 10:50 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • That's a real dickish thing of him to say, no offense. 80% or more of the population has some sort of herpes. He could have the virus laying dormant in his body from decades ago. Honestly, you don't need a man like that if he is going to make you feel bad because you have a virus almost everyone carries.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 1:30 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • omg 80% of people carry the cold sore virus whether they have actual cold sores or not. Look it up on the cdc. Most likely at some point in his life he was exposed and probably can't catch it at this point. Its not genital herpes so tell him to get over it. Chicken pox is part of the herpes family too so is shingles so are a few other viruses that no one would ever think herpes when hearing them.

    Answer by Crystal8327 at 8:27 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • and type 1 and 2 can go to either place. I think one my cousin has the type 2 on her mouth cause her aunt had type 2 down there while delivering. so yea its her fault she went on to marry herself and have kids and no one divorced her over it. Most people get them as babies or children. Tell him to grow up. I don't even have herpes but this childish shit gets on my nerves.

    Answer by Crystal8327 at 8:34 PM on Dec. 26, 2010