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3 Bumps

He doesn't want to have sex with me?

So my husband only ininitated sex about two times last month. Any other time we had sex I initiated it and then it was only once a week he was interested. The thing is when he is out of town he will watch porn every day. But doesn't want to have sex hardly at all. He says it has nothing to do with me and he can't think of any stress or anything that is occupying his mind. I even got all dressed up fancy for an Xmas party he didn't notice and I changed my hair the way he likes it, it made him smile but still no sex . He changed the subject quick today when I asked about it. What should I do? Also supposedly. He hasnt watched porn innweeks since he has been home


Asked by Anonymous at 7:13 AM on Dec. 26, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • well,in my opinion,if he was watching/looking at porn constantly away from home,he still does when he gets the chance. I also think if he is interested in porn,he still has sexual desire. I would feel like he had no interest in ME,not sex...thats just how I would feel. It very well COULD be hormones,but if its hormones,I dont think he'd have interest in porn or anything sexual at all. Him changing the subject quickly means he;s not concerned about your feelings,as far as Im concerned. Im sorry,but you need to demand he sit down with you and REALLY talk this out. It not fair to you to be in a sexless marriage. If he loves you and is faithful to you and your marriage,he'll sit down and listen and CARE how you feel. IMHO,bitching wont get you anywhere,it will just push him farther away. Talk calmly and try to keep your emotions in chewck,but let him know how hurt and rejected you feel. Hope it all works out.

    Answer by phall1069 at 12:10 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • As we get older our hormone levels fluctuate. You just have to wait it out. There is no real problem with your relationship because you still have sex and both of you initiate it.

    Answer by at 8:21 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • sorry but I agree with the first post.....cheating is one of the first things that came to my mind....for some reason when people cheat they (sometimes) feel the need to be faithful to the one they are having an affair with?????? He may need to go see his Doctor and I am thinking you all may need counseling

    Answer by justgrape723 at 8:31 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • the porn is the first thing that comes to my mind. it may seem like he hasn't seen it for weeks, or he may have told you that, but i'm willing to be sure he's watched it since he's been home. if he watched every single day that he was gone, he didn't just stop cold turkey. porn messes relationships up, starting with the sex. honestly, if it isn't the porn, then he's cheating. hope you figure out something soon. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • hmm depends on how old he is maybe is a hormonal thing and he needs to go to the doctor.....guys dont like to talk about this kind thing....


    Answer by cara124 at 10:42 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Hopefully someone has a better answer for you than this... but could he be cheating? Sorry, I hope that isn't the case.

    Answer by shanlaree at 8:19 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Maybe he should see his Dr. He could've had a drop in hormone levels. It happens to guys too. As far as him not noticing, it sounds like you've been together a while. Unfortunately, we start to take each other for granted & forget just how far a compliment can go for the other person. Start complimenting & thanking him for things- maybe it'll rub off. Good luck

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:21 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I would just bitch & bitch about it, no need to beat around the bush. Tell him you want to have sex more & that he's an ass for not doing it. Eventually, hell give in. No man wants to feel like LESS of a man by not pleasing their wife.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:27 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • stress and hormonal changes...I haven't been the mood for sex in a long time, and I'm 37.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Op do yourself a favor..(I mean no disrespect ladies but)...and do not swing into a paranoid rage and accuse him of cheating because you do not know that that is the case and if he isn't it will make it all soooo much worse.Fact is it doesn't ness. mean your husband is cheating.Usually there are other signs than a lack of sex drive too.As some ladies have stated here men can also have hormone problems and other times its just normal and downs.All i'm saying is my advice is not to jump to conclusions.I know you are probably feeling crummy and insecure over this but don't jump the gun and accuse him of running around.If it continues this way then i'd try and have a sit down talk with him and try not to sound as if i'm accusing him of anything and be sure to listen to what he may have to say too.GL OP I hope this is only a temporary blip.

    Answer by tnmomofive at 10:49 AM on Dec. 26, 2010