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things to think about when preparing for custody??? drug testing-asking for in court?

should i get some character people for me
if court appoints someone to check out both houses?
he will have no one i think

can i ask for test on hair- he smokes pot, so does his mother, he had his neice sit once, she smokes too, i found pipe under rug in bathroom, she did not sit again

also in my journal, he smoked pot with daughter in room at that time

does pot smoking hold anything against a parent

i do not, not really against it, just feel someone has to be parent when kids around, so i just do not smoke pot or get drunk etc

also have heard somepeople shave head before going in, he does keep in crewc ut or shaved, do they take hair from another place? or do they just take blood or urine?
hair holds it in, heard you can get rid of if timeallows with blood or urine test but not hair, can i request hair testing done?

will it hold any merit if he tests positive for pot and i do not??

trying to look at all angles of keepingdaughter safe=which means no time alone with him

any suggestions-time for me to look into all angles
thanks for ideas

Answer Question
 
fiatpax

Asked by fiatpax at 10:10 AM on Dec. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • http://www.custodytrialconsultants.com/consult.html

    http://ezinearticles.com/?7-Things-to-Include-in-Your-Child-Custody-Checklist---For-Fathers&id=3429082 (replace x-wife with x husband and this is what you need)

    lacyjay1987

    Answer by lacyjay1987 at 10:19 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Hair tests are wicked expensive, if you request one, you'll be paying for it. Yes, it will hold merit. Well....it also depends on where you're from. Up in boston, it might not be such a big deal as pot has been decriminalized. But, down here in GA...ya...he'd be screwed. Before you divorced, did she ever spend alone time with him? How old is your DD? Unless she is an infant & unless he seems to be unfit by the judge, then he will get visitation rights. He can also tell the judge that he DID smoke pot, but that he quit & goes to AA & is getting clean. That won't help you out either. If he brings in proof that he's getting clean, like a note from a psychologist or an AA sponsor , then that will benefit him. There ARE ways around it. One of my best friends is a lawyer, i hear all kinds of stories from her about issues like this one.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:28 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Can you move far away from the dad? Another state? You can legally move anywhere with your dd within the US, it is only when you move outside the US that you would have to get his permission. Just a little fyi for you.
    sexyfancyface

    Answer by sexyfancyface at 10:57 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • thank you
    have thought of moving
    something to ask my lawyer too
    fiatpax

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 11:25 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I moved three states away so my kids wouldn't be exposed to their dad and his stupid family and their sorted ways.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:44 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • We went through this with DSS"s Biomom. It depends on the state what you can do. We couldn't request a drug test without a good reason. What DH "knew" wasn't reason enough. We ended up putting in the parenting plan that using any illegal substance within 24 hours of visitation was grounds for immediate termination of visitation. She can do it, just not while she has him and not 24 hours before she is going to have him. So far, it has worked and we keep a pretty close eye on things. She doesn't have dss often enough for us to worry too much and is really good about dropping him off with us during her time to have him if she decides to party.
    other_mother

    Answer by other_mother at 6:57 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

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