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2 Bumps

I dont want to be pregnant right now!!

Its so bad that I avoid my stomach most of the time. I hate feeling my belly and the pertruding belly button. I am going through so much and this pregnancy is not wanted and I am having real relationship problems and all this is causing me to not bond with baby. I am about 10weeks.

how can I embrace..will I before the baby is here? I dont want to resent him/her

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Dec. 26, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (13)
  • Find support, get counseling and talk to your doctor about your feelings. Your Hormones can cause depression DURING pregnancy just as commonly as after. You will get through this. You will be fine. there is a way to make it all work. You just have to find it. Don't give up.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 10:43 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Well not to be rude but you should have thought about that before you decided to have sex... second thing.. I understand what you are talking about could be some form of baby depression......I had post partom.. but obvieously you dont have post anything its pre .. I would tell my doctor how I feel. I was not excited about being preg either... well with the way it looked and all.. but to tell you the truth you will adapt to it....oh and the 9th month you will be doing everything in your power to try to get the baby out early LOL I know I did.......m sorry you dont feel a conection to the baby Im sure you will as soon as it is born.. I know I did.....

    Answer by lacyjay1987 at 10:46 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • not to sound mean but if you didnt want to be pregnant then you should of used protectio or just not had sex.
    with that being said. after i got pregnant for the 3rd time i had a period where i thought what the fuck did i just do. i not only am putting my health in danger but im going to be making it harder on my other 2 kids. money will be tighter etc etc. but once i saw her ultrasound, and had a little mishap where i almost lost her i knew right then and there exactly how i felt about the pregnancy and the baby. weither i died from it or not i knew i had to have her. keep her. and she sure as hell has brought alot of laughs and fun into this house.
    i cant wait for her daddy to meet her...
    life is better with Emma then without.
    but if you really really really dont want this baby...dont take it out on the baby. maybe you should look into giving it to a family that will love her.

    Answer by sandraberke at 10:46 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I don't know what to say. I don't really think anyone has the 'right' time to have a baby. I know that when I found out I was pregnant I didn't want it now either. My son just turned two and my daughter ins't even one yet! so this little person will get here in July. Trust me I freaked out, You'll come around. I also felt that way when I got pregnant with my first, I avoided talking about it and even thinking about it, but when I went to my first apt and heard his heart beat I cried, I Love fell in love with him right there. I love him more then anything and would trade him for the world. I'm hoping that I'll have the same feeling with this one as well. Right now I'm just now getting to the point where I'm ok with talking about this one, but it is still hard. You'll be fine, and in the end if you still feel that you don't want this child then there is always adoption. Good luck I hope it all works out.

    Answer by lovemybaby283 at 10:49 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Do let the problems in your life interfere with the love for your child. First of all you're only 10 weeks... some moms dont feel a connection until after the child is born. I would get some help now if you can afford it. Good Luck.

    PS... 10 weeks is not even a belly... Just saying


    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 10:49 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • kiansmom... This is my second and I dont have a big belly its my normal stomach with a my belly button popped out already..

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:54 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • It sounds from your post that you are going through so much and just trying to not bond with this baby is never the answer. God blessed you with this little one. No matter what is going on, you have to seperate those issues. The fact that you are reaching out for help and wanting not to resent this baby, is a good step. We are all here for you at Cafemom. However, if you feel you should talk to a counselor or a close friend, even a doctor about your feelings that may help. I am sending prayers you way to help you through this emotional time in your life. Hugs...

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 11:02 AM on Dec. 26, 2010


    Um. My Dh and I tried to get pregnant for a year and when I finally got a pos test he lost hid job 2 months later. I was so depressed I couldn't move and even considered putting my baby up for adoption. Thankfully Dh refused to sign the papers. You don't know what her situation was 6 weeks ago when she got the pos test is all I'm saying. So BACK OFF.


    If you want to keep this baby then do it. You still have 30 weeks to figure everything out. So Much can change in that time frame! Try marital counseling and DO talk to you OB about possible Depression so they can point you in the right direction.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Thank you anonymous.... they go from why did she get pregnant to I am in the same position... and you hit the nail on the head. My situation did change drastically and this is not how I want it to be and its not how I want to welcome a baby.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:19 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I really understand what you are saying with everything in the world maybe is going wrong and then pregnancy occurs within all the chaos. I am 24 weeks pregnant and everything had been going wrong for me for the last two years, but now I am really feeling blessed and different. Honey someone told me that if life is hard on you then God has a special plan for you in the future. All you have to do is take everything that is being thrown at you and handle it as you should because there is a wonderful thing waiting on you. Don't do the baby like that though. It doesn't know what is going on in your world right now, but the baby can feel your pain. The last thing you want is a bitter baby at birth, miscarriage to make you feel worse as a mother, premature birth, or any other thing that could happen. Keep your head up. Ima add you as a friend just in case you need someone to talk to because I understand completely.

    Answer by Cherish809 at 1:08 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

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