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Lately I wonder, why did I want kids ....

It is so difficult. I have a 2 1/2 yr old and a 1 yr old. My oldest has been a difficult one since infancy. He doesn't sleep all night, still. He can't soothe himself to sleep. He wakes up the other one if I let him CIO, so it's easier to put him in my bed, which is becoming a problem now too. I have began to use the technique of correcting one negative behavior at a time, so he goes into the corner and the timer is set for 2 minutes. Simply telling him "Throwing is bad behavior and not allowed" and telling him the same thing at the end of TO. I was told to work on 1 behavior for 2 weeks before beginning to add another negative behavior to TO. He whines, throws wonderful tantrums, all the terrible 2 scenarios. I am exhausted. I can't afford a babysitter to get a break. My parents aren't around to watch him for a few hours. My husband and I are currently apart due to his job, in 5 more weeks we will be together, which will help a lot. But my son acts the same when daddy is around. My patience is non-existant after 3 hours of the day. My parents say it's his personality, I was the same way....my mom wanted to toss me out a window at one point every day. I used to bit the carpet and pull it apart with my teeth...at least he doesn't do that. I find myself in tears once a day because I don't know what to do. I am considering going on an anxiety med. The other baby is a lot more pleasant, sure he will have some terrible 2 behaivor, but he is at the other end of the spectrum for his temperment. I almost feel bad that he sees his brother throwing things, telling me no, wrestling with him (trying to have fun, but being too rough still). I feel like I am saying, "No, we don't do that (behavior), we do this (and tell him correct behavior)" Which is hard on him I am sure. I give him positive praise and hugs when he does positive and kind behavior. We do cool stickers for sharing and pooping in the potty. If anyone has any words of encouragement or creative ideas I would appreciate it. I love him and adore him, I sometimes think I spoiled him and have created this little wild man. And now am at a loss.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on Dec. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Hugs! I know it is rough going. He is in his 2's and probably terribly verbal, I'm guessing. I had a similar situation, minus the hubs being gone. My oldest had reflux and never slept. He was speech delayed and showed what I now know are signs of aspergers. Mine also had a baby sister born when he was 20 months. It was a difficult situation. My mom and in laws all lived in the same city as us and would only rarely help. I wanted to run away.

    The good news is that it will get easier with time. In the meantime, try to find a mother's day out program or try MOPS. Mine in nearly 13 and still doesn't sleep well. His brain is always on and he is fixing problems x,y &z.

    Just keep doing what you are doing in terms of behavior correction. It will sink in. Unfortunately it takes time and patience, which is not what one wants to hear when you are at wits end. It will get better.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 12:56 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Sounds like your doing it all right to me!! Keep doing what your doing.... GL prayer helps.. sometimes your just gonna have to put them in thier playpins and walk out side for 10 min
    lacyjay1987

    Answer by lacyjay1987 at 12:52 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Sounds like you just need a break, and you might be getting depressed.
    bseastrand

    Answer by bseastrand at 12:50 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • The best with a child with a lot of energy is to take them to a park or even McDonalds play area. It helps them sleep better at night. I had to do the same with my kids and now my daughter has do do it too :) and just be firm you will be fine.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 12:59 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • they dont call it the terrible twos for nothing!. Sounds like you are doing everything right. Do you ever go to those play centers at Burger King or Mcds? I used to take my kids there during winter, just so they could run and jump and play. Get some of that wild energy out. Ours had that ballroom for the younger ones to play in, so it keeps the older ones seperate from the younger ones. Idk if this helps you, but thats what I did on those certain days when I was ready to pull my hair out. hugs to you
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 1:03 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • The McD's here does not have a play center. And it is in the 20s right now, so no outside time. We go to a playgroup at the library once a week, and story time once a week. I look forward to moving in a month, it will be down south and he can run and run outside every day then. I have a YMCA that is local, but we can't afford the first fees of almost $200. That would be great to just be away from them for a couple hours every day. 24-7 every day, with not much adult interaction is lonely, terrible now that it's winter. Summer when we could be outside wasn't as bad. I am just mentally, emotionally, physically exhausted. Thanks ladies.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:37 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • YMCA will help you if can't pay the $200. ask them about it. Then there you can use the pool too. Call today! there are things you can do in the cold weather, you will be cold but the kids will love it.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 1:47 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • We don't qualify. And there isn't a pool. We live in a little rinky dink town, literally. I had a membership to a Y that was 30 miles away and my hubby was military and was told we can utilize any Y, they were kinda snooty about it and told me I can't use this one because they only allow you use if your original Y membership is over 50 miles away. So when our card expired I said forget it, it wasn't worth the gas to be driving that much every day. When we move, and are financially able, we will get back in one for sure.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:52 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • 20 degrees is not too cold that you can't take the kids out for a walk. Just bundle them up. Go out for 15 minutes, then go back inside to warm up.

    Get some paints and brushes and let him have some fun. Get some playdoh.

    Make sure he has a consistent routine that he can count on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Thanks for the suggestions of play doh. The routine is so consistent even I get out of sink when we are off of it LOL
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:55 PM on Dec. 26, 2010