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2 Bumps

My sister won't talk to me and it hurts!! adult content

My parents (stepdad, I call him dad) my mom and I have a strained/estranged relationship because of stuff my brother has done. He has done some inappropriate things sexually in the home when we were staying with them looking for a place 4 yrs ago. They included jacking off with other people around (caught him 3 times) and when I was younger he'd come in the room and touch me inappropriately in the middle of the night. He was involved with a minor who lied about her age, so now he's a registered sex offender and cant be around minors. He lived with parents till he was nearly 30 and only moved out when he was forced to. The reason we are estranged is hb and I put a stipulation that if kids come over brother cant and they wouldn't honor it, and defended brother, saying they'd "watch" him around the kids, blah blah blah. With Sis, she was a teen when this all went down and was caught in the middle, but when I said bro was a pervert she goes "BULLSHIT!" and when he was in jail for the legal thing, was on the phone seeing if there was anything he needed...he might've been lied to about her being a minor,but he still had NO business with someone he thought was 18 with him being 30. Disgusting!! So after sis and mom saw bro jacking off....mom goes "are you OK?" this was the closest she EVER got to confronting him. My sis later denied seeing bro do this. I havent talked to her at length about the situation, but it seems like she's defending him. Ever since she was born, Ihave done nothing but dote on her...mom used to say I was like a "second mother" and was hoping to be close friends when she got older. We're 15 yrs apart. Her and parents moved when she was a teen and she got all these "friends" and I felt out of the loop...and jealous. Now that all this has gone down we're friends on facebook, but she hardly ever anwered me on her wall when I would comment, and after I messaged her asking her why she sent me a message saying "before you go giving me your crap find out the facts". well how the HELL am Isupposed to get the facts if she wont answer the phone, or call me? I talked to her yesterday and she asked me and kids what they got for Christmas, but when I talked to her alone she said she had to get off to go call grandma, and when I told her I love you she said "uh huh". So I just got off the phone and cried...like I am doing now. I think it has something to do with bro...but she won't talk to me. Why did he have to do this to our family??? All I asked of him and my parents was him to come over when kids weren't there. big whoop. My hb and I have said that they can see the kids again when they talk with us and a pastor, but a year has gone by. Their tme may be runningout. We no longerlive in the same town. My sis has blocked me from seeing her wall on fb and doesn't answer my calls, return them, nothing. I wonder if the only reason she hasn't removed me completely as a friend is so it wont look bad cuz people know we're sisters. When we were growing up, her and bro didn't get along and were always arguing. I feel hurt that I invested all this in her, and I'm the one being shunned when my brother did all this crap.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Dec. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (2)
  • Sounds like you need some one on one time with your sister. As hard as this is, you are doing the right thing by protecting your children from this situation. There is nothing left to speculate about here, your brother was tried and convicted for sexual misconduct. If your family is unwilling to see the truth, and honor your wishes that he not be present when your children are, then so be it. As for sis,. either she will sit with you and have an adult conversation, or she wont. Either way, you can keep communications going with family, but stick to your guns about not going over there if he is...

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Some people feel that blood is thicker than water. And because you didn't accept what your brother did, they've decided to make you the bad guy. I think it will be a hard lesson for your family to learn when your sisters children are harmed or exposed to your brother! (I don't wish that on them, but when you turn a blind eye to possible pedophelia it's the children who can be hurt). I don't think there's much you can do to change their minds, they've decided to align themselves with your brother. I would just stop contact, hide your page from her as well (she doesn't have to answer the phone to see what's going with you if you are a frequent poster). Give her space, don't push right now. One day she will see what her brother is and will apologize. Until then, you have to be patient and be open to talk on her terms.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:42 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

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