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Do you agree with my justification?

Okay, I decided to have my son evulated for ADD/ADHD through his pediatrician because of all the problems he is having in school related to him being distracted. His teacher has hinted around at it several times but never came out and said it. I talked to his pediatrician about it and she told me that she medicated for ADD/ADHD in severe cases and there are a lot of things the school can do to help if he comes back with a diagnosis. She is a great doctor and I totally trust her. I put my foot down and told my hubby that we doing this for our son. He's still so mad at me and has threatened to leave me! I say this is the best thing for him and we can get help at the school without medication! What do you guys think?

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Asked by raybell at 4:30 AM on Nov. 10, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I have actually been there DH was a fidgety active boy and when my ds was young I had to convince dh that it was best to get him tested. There are many things you can do that do not involve medication, and it sounds like you are willing to seek help for your son and not just get him on meds. Maybe if you look up some online ADD/ADHD information through the American Academy of Pediatrics you can find backup for your decision. Mean time I suggest watching if there is a link between his activity level and foods, for instance Tang and Coke used to send my DS off the wall!!!

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 7:31 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • My doctor wanted to test for ADHD, and I wouldn't let her. I know that nearly my whole family has been diagnosised with ADHD or ADD, and some have it sever, none have ever been on meds, or been given special treatment in school. I think that schools today just want a label for children that are different from the norm. So in this case, I agree with your husband.

    Answer by MarshaB702 at 7:35 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I want to make sure I understand this correctly: He is mad that you want to try to help your son w/o meds?
    My sons, ages 5 & 7, are both on meds for ADHD. Meds were my last resort after all the natural methods I tried didn't work for them. I still do research all the time and try to find more natural methods to try. I absolutely feel meds should be the last resort, and then should be the absolute minimum dose that gets results.
    Although I can understand your hubby wanting a more immediate fix, I agree with you and your dr. to try the alternatives first. Schools do have to create an IEP if needed, and there are many natural ways to try to treat it. If you try all of that, and he then needs meds, then you go ahead and do what you must. I also have to say it's good you trust your dr. It's imperative to be able to trust your dr.'s judgment and opinions when dealing with something like this. Good luck!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:46 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I agree with you completely. I feel schools a lot of times just want to medicate our kids so they don't have to deal with them. If you, as his mother, think it can be helped without meds then that is what should be done. Some kids truly need the meds and some don't . Unless you find that he is not getting better then consider it, but until then just seek help in other ways. Good Luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:34 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Your husband is threatening to leave because you want to have your child evaluated for a medical condition that might cause him to have a label? Hmm. I think I would be more concerned about the committment that my husband has to his family than my son. Thats wrong on so many levels and very disturbing. Its not going his way so hes just gonna leave? My nephew is going through the same thing. They are having the same issue with him and he sees the counselor at school every week for the same type of behavior. Disruptiveness, distraction, rude, talking out of turn, disrespect. My sil just came out an asked the couns. if they were labeling him as a BD child and they said NO, absolutely not.

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:51 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • cont.;..They are trying to work with him to avoid meds and my sil and brother would never go for meds. They would change his diet and look for other ways. There is tons of info on the net. Try that and tell your husband he is either committed to his family or hes not. ITs not conditional on whether or not you have issues.

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:52 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Kudos to you!! IMO, kids are overmedicated. There are so many other ways of dealing with issues without giving your child a pill every day!! Sometimes, it's necessary, but why jump into it without trying everything else first! Is your DH upset that he is being medicated or because you had him evaluated in the first place? If you know the diagnosis, there are ways of dealing with them that your child can use for a lifetime!! I honestly believe that the skills he will learn to deal with it are more valuable and helpful than any medication!! Even if he does need meds, he will still have the skills should he ever go off the meds.

    Answer by drowninginboys at 10:28 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Ok wait, is he not wanting the diagnosis, or does he want to medicate? Either way, big applause to you! I think you are heading in the right direction! *hug*

    Answer by faeriemamma at 11:05 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Okay, this is coming from a therapist who has worked with many children with ADHD. One, a piediatrician is not always your best friend when trying to acurately diagnos ADHD. Signs and symptoms of things like depression, anxiety, adjustment issues, stress...ect...are the exact same signs and symptoms of ADHD in children. So that means a parent concerned about a child who may be living with ADHD should try and seek out a therapist and psychiatrist who specializes in treating childhood disorders. No offense to doctors. Piediatricians are still general practice doctors. When your child has a specific medical disorder (which ADHD is) then it needs to be seen by a professional/s who specialize in those disorders.

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:30 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • cont...
    Many parents I worked with had questions about medication. I can honestly tell you that most children who have ADHD, IMO, do need medication. If your son were a diabetic would you with hold insulin because he was too young or you wanted to treat it without medicine? There are some parents who have had success without the medication. But they were willing to make huge changes in lifestyle and diet. Medication is very helpful but is just one small part of treatment. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) is also usually recommended for people living with ADHD. Your doctor also can't, and isn't trained, to do that. Plus, ADHD is a family not just a child issue. So everyone needs to be involved.

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:34 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

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