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are there certain signs that your child is or might be gay adult content

My 11 year old son is really into nail polishes and lotion. My nair come up missing last week, and I questioned everyone in the house, no answer from anyone so I figured it fell in the trash. a few days later he had a pair of shorts on and noticed that he has no leg hair.
he is always worried about being called a "fag", and he and his brother are always fighting about the word "fag" and "Queer". he asked me one day how to tell if he is gay, and I tried to answer by explaining that either you want to be with a boy or girl, he said that he is attracted to both. I dont care if he is gay, but I would like to know how to help him thru it with peers. (and his brother)

 
goodemama

Asked by goodemama at 6:58 PM on Dec. 26, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 5 (63 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • If I was in the situation I would explain to our son that its important to embrace who you are as a person and not focus on the fact that other people think hes different . Explain that there are different types of people in the world and we are entitled to our own choices but also remember that he is only a child, he may be confused so i dont think you should stress the issue too much. just let him know you love him regardless of his sexuality and you support any decision he makes. Hope this helps!
    MsBrazil86

    Answer by MsBrazil86 at 7:37 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Have you ever heard of PFLAG? It stands for Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.  It can be a wonderful resource for you.  It might be a good idea to take his brother, too, so he understands that fag and queer are offensive words to gay people (and bisexual people) when used in a derogatory way.


    Give him some time.  He may be going through a phase, or he may be discovering a very big part of himself.  Do some research, and be as supportive as you can be.  Listen without judgment, and just be there.  =)

    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 7:09 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Well, it sounds to me like he's discovering he might be and is probably expecting there to be concrete evidence one way or another and there isn't. Time will tell but the shaved legs at his age is something. I'm not sure where to go for help but if you have gay friends, consult them.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 7:00 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I want to start out by telling you that you are a good mama. Sounds like he is beginning to notice that he is different, which is not a bad thing. They say that a child knows when they are young that they are different. I would just continue to be supportive and don't let his older brother tease him. Maybe talk to him about it. He is most likely going to have issues with peers, but as long as he stays confident and true to himself that's all that matters.
    amber1330

    Answer by amber1330 at 7:04 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Honestly, he may be but, its way to young to tell for sure. My younger brother shaved his legs once but, it was because he saw his older sister do it. I would just do my best to let him know he is loved, and I would talk to his brother about not using "queer" or "fag" as name calling. By using them when they fight, it makes your son feel like "Since someone is calling me that, then that is what I must be" and well, that would just confuse him. With time, he'll figure out what he is more attracted to, and if he wants bare legs and nail polish, then just let him.
    dustbunni

    Answer by dustbunni at 7:05 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Yep, i'd go to the gay community for counseling....lol. There is probably a lot of info online about this kind of thing if you do some googling. Time is the only way you'll really know though. I knew a boy who's parents thought he was going to be gay. When he was young, he was really into girly things & well...was just a very feminine boy. He grew up straight...he's not the least bit gay. Kids need to go through phases to figure themselves out & get to know who they really are. Just support him in any way you can & be patient. Only time will tell.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:06 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Here's a site that may be able to help you.
    http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 7:06 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I can't give you any other advice, I think the ladies above me did great. I just wanted to say that you are an amazing momma!!
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 7:21 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • just wanted to say thanks, and that I am very supportive of all my kids. I want the same thing for all of them to find love and happiness, regardless of color gender or any other thing. Thanks girls!! 5thanks for the website too!! :)
    goodemama

    Comment by goodemama (original poster) at 7:41 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:13 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

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