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4 Bumps

Did what I had to do... adult content

I did what I had to do for my kids... I was 18 years old when it happend but I was introduced to a man that made me a offer... Lets just call him Timmy. My friend was doing it and I did it too. For 4 years i had sex with the same man for money.. When I tried to leave he cut me off from everyone. He owns his own businesses and has lots of power so I couldnt get a job anywhere else. I tried. He brainwashed me into thinking that he was paying me for the "time we spent together" but I knew better... I just didnt want to believe it the money was good.. I didnt want to have to depend on a guy to do anything for me.. so I suffered... Plus I made myself believe that since it was just 1 guy I wasnt a whore shall we say.. Its hard to believe I put myself through that for 4 years.. but I did.. He kept track of where I went and what I did.. he would call when I was with my bf and bitch and raise hell until one day I had had enough..I moved back in with my parents and told him I was done... Now 4 years later I have found out that he is the father of my 2 kids.. we are currently going through child support battle. It is hard to cope with it all.. I keep telling myself that is was sexual abuse because I wasnt raped. He never forced me but if i didnt do it i didnt get paid.. so i forced myself.. can anybody help me?... I need to get over this but everytime I look at my 2 kids i see him.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Dec. 26, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I don't mean to sound judgemental but why are you blaming all this on him? Sounds to me like you had a nice convenient business arrangement and were well paid for your consideration. If you chose not to use birth control you will need to deal with that everytime you look at your children. This wasn't sexual abuse so please don't torture yourself over your choices in the matter. Just look at this chapter of your life as a grand adventure and love your kids with all your heart. If he's as rich as you say and you can prove paternity then you will have no problem at all getting plenty of child support from his man. Stand up tall and believe in yourself my dear. Lots of women date manipulative and controlling men and don't get anything from it but heartache. You have two beautiful kids to love and years of child support coming. Smile darlin', there are worse things you could do than getting paid for sex.
    Blabbermouth

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 7:45 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • How did your BF feel about it? Did you get a BF after all of this, or were you sleeping with both of them at the same time? Just curious...

    I would move far-far away....start new, in a shelter if you have to.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:27 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I guess like anyone who has had a baby with a man they perhaps they did not like; take care of your children, go after child support, but know this now gives him rights, and move forward with your life.

    Plus, sorry to be so blunt, you were having sex with a man for money, how nice of a guy do you really expect him to be. I suggest you see a therapist cause you must have some deep emotion issues to degrade yourself so much and be a prostitute, maybe after you help yourself via therapy you can have a clearer mind.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 7:39 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Hun, you went into that arrangement willing. Of course he was going to keep you on a tight leash, you were basically his property (blunt but truthful). It's over and done with, now get a good lawyer to handle the child custody/support issues. Hopefully you stashed away some of the money he was paying you.

    Talk to a therapist if you feel you need help moving past it. Good Luck on the custody/support issues.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 8:27 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I hope you do not take it out on the kids.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:30 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • well hell no I dont take it out on my kids... and at 1st I did have a bf but I soon told him.. No we didnt stay together but I was single after that... now that I am away from him I do have a bf that knows about it all.. Thanks for the advice..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:38 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • You need to forgive yourself, you were young and scared, but now it sounds like you are a strong woman doing what she has to do and standing up and fighting for her kids, pat yourself on the back for hanging in there momma! Soon this will be behind you, you'll have your child support and all will be well. All we can do is live and learn then try try again to get it right the next time around
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • You made your choices in the past. You can get over it if you decide to get over it. I can't say anything about the children custody battle but if you want a new life than move far away with your children where he can't reach after you. It will be hard with his two own kids. How on the Earth did you find out those two are his? After a time. Why did you start to dig into it? From what you wrote down I can't really see how could you be the victim and it seems like you try to punish him because you feel yourself a whore. But well, I really hope this thing won't effect your relationship with your children. I wish you Merry Christmas and try to find a good lawyer for the battle with that guy. If you can prove that you are a good mum the court usually don't take the kids away from the mum.

    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 7:48 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • FYI: I was on birth control.. both times.. I was on the depo shot with my son.. and the nuva ring with my girl.. and blabber mouth yes there are tons of things worse than getting paid for sex.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:17 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • The kids did not ask to be here.. DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON THEM!!!!!!!!! U need to get some counseling for yourself and orders with court to have things go well..... GET AWAY AS FAR AS U CAN
    corneshia126

    Answer by corneshia126 at 8:39 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

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