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This is probably more to vent then a question about FIL

My FIL is making me SO mad,if my 4 year old does something a little mean to 15 month old brother he gets all upset and starts railing on her,IN FRONT OF ME,the PARENT,he will do it even in my own house!!Yes,I know she can be a little mean or more just plain ornery with her brother,like grabbing things away,pushing him just enough to make him fall down,etc.And we get after her and stuff but it makes me so upset that he(my FIL) just thinks he can rail/yell at her right in front of me and in my own house.He did it tonight when we were at there place,she grabbed a cup away from him which actually was her cup and he flew off the handle at her and kept at it even after I came to the scene to see what he was yelling about and to take care of the situation.I'm like hello parent on the scene would ya shut up now:) Of course I didn't actually say that to him but boy am I ticked.Is this normal,do all FIL try to discipline your kids right in front of you.


 
Ananomys

Asked by Ananomys at 8:41 PM on Dec. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • I don't know if it's normal but Im very outgoing person and would say something, Im not against anyone disipliing my child but if I'm there Iwould expect them to drop it and leave it to me to handle,
    raisingmen

    Answer by raisingmen at 8:45 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I'm not against others discipling my child if I am not around but not when I am right there.I am going to tell my SO he needs to have a talk with his Dad about it or one of these times I am going to get mad enough to blow up at him and he knows that would not be a good thing at all
    Ananomys

    Comment by Ananomys (original poster) at 8:53 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I get upset when this happens in our family. I think it's a generational thing, and it's tough for the older generation to watch the way a different generation disciplines, so they feel they are going to step in and then everything will be solved. I agree though, your kids - you discipline when you are there, they discipline in your absence. I would just say the next time he does this, in a polite way, I can handle the discipline, if you see something that my child is doing in your home that is upsetting to you, please let me know and I will handle the situation, I wouldn't want your relationship with your grandchild to be a fearful one, so let me be the bad guy here, okay?
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 8:58 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I would let him know Before the next time, just like we let kids know what will happen next time they do something they shouldnt, Granpa's are NOT to be flying off the handle, they are suppose to know better, be more patient and reprimand more lovingly.
    kingkongsmom

    Answer by kingkongsmom at 9:08 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • you have to come to a point where you just tell that jerk whats up. I myself have given up on caring what anyone thinks. If anyone does anything to piss me off regarding my children, they hear about it right then. I just cant deal with it anymore. I know my fil tried telling my son to do something different than what i had just told him, and i told him that I was the 1 that pushed that child out into this world, and that makes me the boss, so shut the hell up. I cant stand when someone wants to tell me what to do with my children! o
    LuvMyMedic3ID

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 9:42 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Since it happened in your house, you should be handling your children. You should be reminding your FIL that you are the children's mother and that it is your responsibility (not his) to handle your children. Your husband should back you on this. Tell him if he doesn't talk to him about that , that you will do it yourself.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:08 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Sounds like he may be a little out of line but maybe you need the help. Why is your daughter still being a monster to her baby brother?? Get it under control and maybe your FIL won't have to step in.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 9:30 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

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