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8 year old boy playing with "girl" toys exclusively

my nephew asked for and received an Easy Bake oven,Barbies,a play kitchen,a Dora bike,Dora pajamas,and baby dolls for Christmas. The bike is pink and lavender with white wheels by the way.
Would you buy these things for a boy who will be 9 in 4 months? He didn't ask for anything boy related. I think he's going to stand out in a bad way if his friends see what he's playing with. The bike especially. I have no issues with gay people,or transsexuals. i just think that those things should be put away where no one else knows about them until he reaches an age where he can handle the possible ridicule.
He's very effiminate and cries all the time. His behavior has already lost him a few friends this year because the boys are "toughening" up more in 3rd grade.
Its sad but true that if you don't live up to certain social standards,you will be picked on.


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 8:45 PM on Dec. 26, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • I agree, I think it is wrong of the parents. I have no problem with him wanting it and obviously I think little children should have no problem with it either, but children will be children... He's going to get picked on and I would not want that for my son so no way would I give him that kind of stuff...

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • It is true he may be picked on, but if he has a loving, supportive family, he will ultimately be OK. If this is who he is, if his parents tell him it is wrong to be that way, then he'll end up feeling that who he is is wrong.

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 9:41 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • i am surprised that the girl pj's fit him right. usually they are cut differently. but i wouldn't consider the oven or play kitchen 'girl toys'....i would call those unisex. it sounds like he likes dora to nephews like dora too. i wouldn't have bought the bike or the pj's because like i said the clothes are different for boys and girls and the bikes are different too....i would have bought him a plain (boys) bike and some dora stickers to put on there. they also have some dora stuff that is neutral....mostly red. that's what i buy for my nephews. so i guess what i'm saying is i wouldn't buy them stuff made specifically for girls (like the bike and the pj's) because they are made differently and wouldn't work as well for a boy. for the other stuff i could care less. and if he has lost friends over what toys he chooses, then they were not his friends to begin with!


    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:53 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Maybe he should play with girls. My son is 8, and its an age where they really start to define themselves by their gender. He hates anything pink (he wont even wear a pink shirt!) and plays with traditional boy toys. I think his parents are very loving to get him the toys he asked for and not try to fit a square peg into a round hole. Just make sure he is safe when he plays with friends for as long as you can.

    Answer by Inloveagain at 8:54 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • The reality in life is that there will always be someone there to pick on him about who he is, and his home should be the one place in the world where he should feel free to express himself and be himself and play with whatever toy he so enjoys. That fact has nothing to do with social standards of the outside world.
    Either way, I don't think a child should ever have to hide who they are from anyone. Sends bad messages to the kid.

    Answer by SpaceToast at 9:52 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Children are mean. No denying it. He will be picked on but hopefully (and it sounds like he does) have loving, caring parents who let him be who he is. Don't hide the toys if that's what he wants, let him play with them.

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 9:58 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I agree with SpaceToast, no matter what he does there will always be a reason for bullying. The way to deal with it is to teach him how to cope and deal with it, not to try and hide his self/personality.

    We got our 3yr old son a pink guitar(it was a dollar or something) for xmas, he said he wants to give it to Aunt Jade(my lil sis) because she will like it, cuz its pink lol

    I say let the child have what he wants and express himself, and help him deal with the consequences in a healthy way, he will turn out all the better for it when he is older.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 10:01 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I just feel sad, I guess I wished that your question was more about how to support him and help him deal with the picking or help stop it rather than try to prove how his parents are doing something wrong.

    You certainly shouldn't be supporting making him feel ashamed about who he is (those things should be put away). I also think you should maybe re-examine how you feel about gays etc as it seems clear that you seem to think that the picking/shame is a good way to deal with him being different.

    I do read that you love him, however love should include acceptance (100%) as well as helping him solve his problems, not adding to them.

    Best of luck, I hope you re-examine as it sounds like your nephew is going to need a strong loving family as he struggles through those ignorant enough to be mean because he is different.

    Answer by Noahs_Mom2005 at 5:05 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • that is just a little weird to me.

    Answer by sunflower1986 at 10:27 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • Well my middle son wanted a Barbie for Christmas one year and DH had a fit about it. Well I bought a $3 Barbie, the cheapest one I could find and son thought it was awesome for a few weeks then I found it naked and shoved to bottom of the toy box with it's hair all cut off. So it went in the garbage and was never asked for again. This does not sound like your situation at all. The boy is going to need lots of support and love from the adults in his life. I don't think Dora is girls only either or the easy bake. My boys all played with an Easy Bake. They all had Cabbage Patch babies when they were little too. My daughter is Thomas the Train crazy and that's all she wanted for Christmas. Trains are considered boy toys by some people. She could care less about the dolls some relatives bought for her. I'm a girl and I HATE pink and Barbies.

    Answer by Mim4 at 11:29 PM on Dec. 26, 2010