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3 Bumps

How can I get over my husband's affair

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shandis11

Asked by shandis11 at 11:39 PM on Dec. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Move on!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • take all of his belongings, and put them into a pile in front yard, set on fire!
    mama2bof2

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 11:43 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • If you figure it out let me know. I still have days of depression and it is worse when the kids visit him and I have to hear all about his wedding plans even though our divorce isn't even final. I know I didn't do anything wrong and I have a lot of support which helps but there are still days when I wonder what I did wrong. I have friends and know co-workers that know them both and everyone agrees that it doesn't matter how hard one person in a marriage loves and works to make it successful, if the other person doesn't want to it won't work. In the long run, I know that they are right but that doesn't help every day. Try to get a lot of support from friends and family and don't be afraid to tell others the truth when they ask. I tried to cover up my husband's behavior for a while due to embarrassment but when I just said he had an affair I started to feel better and I stopped having to answer for his sins.
    t3dragonflies

    Answer by t3dragonflies at 11:48 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • I got over my x's first affair. It was the others that drove me over the edge to leave
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:54 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • it's not how it can you trust him again it take awhile in time you be able to move on but in the back of your mind
    you will remember as if was yesterday .the trust you once had has gone some thing he must earn
    take one day at time you will be never forgotten
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 11:59 PM on Dec. 26, 2010

  • How many times did it happen? is this the first time? you may be able to goto counseling together if you still love him. people make mistakes, if it were my husband i would have a heart to heart and let him know how much im hurting and have him goto counseling together if that didnt work or if he didnt change after 6 months id get a divorce. but i'd at least give my marriage one last shot.
    Alexis82

    Answer by Alexis82 at 12:03 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • 1. Make sure he didn't bring home some disease that you will have to pay for for the rest of your life.
    2. Get counseling for yourself to deal with the anger and hurt.
    3. ask yourself if you can live like this the rest of your life.
    My ex husband brought home a disease, I'm still paying for his affairs. Multiples. There comes a point when you have to ask yourself if its all worth it. Mine wasn't so I left. I tried to forgive the first one. He thought that gave him permission to continue the bad behavior. Counseling helped me to know that I could do so much better than him. I got over the hurt and anger. I did get even! a bar of soap in a sock and the pig sewed up in the bed sheets while he slept! He couldnt move real well for days!
    brookclinton

    Answer by brookclinton at 12:20 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • wOW brookclinton! I bet that anger just leaped right out of you while you were swinging that soap! You go girl! You won't get over it, get rid of him. A cheater is a cheater is a cheater! He will cheat on the next one too! Save your self respect, and put his stuff through the washer with a half-gallon of bleach, so they are nice and clean when you throw them out on the lawn. Tell him that's your contribution to cleaning up his act!
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 1:26 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I don't think you really will ever be completely over it. You have experienced deep betrayal and rejection that really can't be erased. Counseling and therapy can really help you get your feelings sorted out better and help both of you come up with a working strategy to try to prevent it from happening again. Time is really the only thing that is going to make a dent on this for you. It is going to really take a lot of time and patience to get past something this painful.

    He crossed a big, huge, red taped line that will be a lot easier to cross the second time. I am sorry, but I have little faith in people who cheat. If I were you, I think I would need to take a good, long, hard look at this relationship and evaluate how selfish this person is to do something like that to you.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 3:19 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I don't think there is any easy way to get over it. I know I would not be able to even look at my DH if he did that to me. That is so disrespectful, and who wants to spend the rest of their life with someone who lies and cheats and sneaks around. It's going to be hard at first, but it sounds like you have a good support system. WIth time and maybe some counseling, you will be able to heal. I hope things workout for you.
    sugaree

    Answer by sugaree at 9:41 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

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