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How can I parent around my mother when she constantly undermines me in front of my Child?

So hubby left me, but we are "sharing" our son (long story)... and I am now living with my parents. When I was younger my mother and I butted heads, and we still seem to differ on many things. I love her and I am so very grateful for her opening her home to me and my son when I have him, but she is constantly undermining me in front of my son! Now he will go to her instead of me when he wants something...how can I be polite about this situation when I just want to scream? My son is only four and this divorce thing is so confusing on his and my part :( how can I do this when I just want to yell at my mom "He is my child!"

 
CindyLou122

Asked by CindyLou122 at 12:05 AM on Dec. 27, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • When you are able too, find a place of you own. I know easier said than done.
    idaspida

    Answer by idaspida at 12:08 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I've been through the same situation and I know that it isn't easy. As much as you want to tell them that he is your child and your responsibility, you also need to keep things good to where you can stay there at the same time. The best thing you can do is,bear with it a little longer and you really need to get your own place, then you won't have to worry about it any more.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:13 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Can you sit down and talk to your mom, tell her how hard this divorce is, stressful, confusing, et cetera, and that it would make both her life and more importantly, your and your child's life a bit easier and less strained if she would stop undermining you? Would she listen? Divorce is hard, but other people make it sometimes that much harder.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 12:15 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I agree, when you get chance you have to find a place of your own, because even if you do confront your mom about your feelings, its her home and she may feel as though she is helping. Hurry up and start working, getting alimony, child support, and whatever you need to do to get a place of your own.
    caringmom4402

    Answer by caringmom4402 at 1:22 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • move on your own
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • My mother was so bad that I opted for a woman's shelter while waiting for my own place to work out after she got psycho on me. Hopefully your situation isn't that bad! But it is an option....
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 2:04 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Start saving money and move out. You can calmly talk to her and see if it helps and say mom, he needs to be coming to me... But hurry and move.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 4:18 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I am sorry you are going through all of this - divorce is never easy, mothers are never easy. If it were me, I would set a time with my mother to discuss over coffee - away from the house, so that she can understand the seriousness. Be open with her about your feelings and emotions about the divorce and your son. She may think she is helping you by stepping in and the new role, since you have so much stress and other things on your plate.

    Either way, you can not expect the situation to change or stop if you do not discuss it with her. Good luck.
    tway75

    Answer by tway75 at 9:20 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I don't understand why your ex-husband can afford a home and you can't. Something is off...
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:43 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • While you live with her you will have this battle. It is her home and she will want things done her way. I would try to quickly find a way to stand on your own so you don't have to worry about this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

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