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2 Bumps

I have a serious problem and I know it seems easy to fix...but it's not.

I am going to keep this anonymous and probably not post back to people just because I want to keep it anonymous....

I have a wonderful boyfriend. We've been together for over 3 years. I LOVE him so much. Lately we've been the best we've ever been and I'm happy. But....

I keep cheating on him. Not sex wise. But flirting, and kissing a couple guys, and dirty talking to one while I was drunk (so embarrassed by that). I know its HORRIBLE. And I am really trying to stop all this madness! Bc I feel extremely guilty for it after and swear to myself I'm never doing it again bc my boyfriend does NOT deserve this. Our relationship does not deserve this. I really love him. I know it sounds crazy like "if you realy loved him you wouldnt cheat" but idk. I feel like something is wrong with me. Why can't I stop the temptation. I will completely stop talking to this one guy for the longest time, but somehow we start talking again and he drives me crazy! He won't even do anything and I feel like feelings will come back, but I know it's just lust.

I need help, advice, please no lashing out at me. I sound ridiculous and horrible..I KNOW that already. I really want help.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:58 AM on Dec. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • First stop beating yourself up second figure out what your lashing out against and third be honest with yourself and get some counseling to find out if this is the relationship for you. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:03 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I'm sorry but if you were married this would be grounds for a divorce, The best way to come at this is to tell you I'm not judging you at all.
    Monogmy is hard for some people. All I can say is ...... WOW. Ummm You are having an emotional affair. Easiest thing to say is DON"T allow yourself to be left in a situation like the "being alone with another guy situation" MOST IMPORTANT IS BE CAREFUL. BLESS YA HONEY
    AND TAKE CARE
    mamabeard3

    Answer by mamabeard3 at 1:08 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I think you need to talk with your boyfriend about it. You need to be honest and if you stay in a relationship with him and never tell him it's just as bad. You also need to go talk to a councilor.
    musicmomma_89

    Answer by musicmomma_89 at 1:13 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • You have an attention/sex addiction and need counseling. It's a genuine problem, it's probably rooted somewhere in your childhood, and you'll need help working through it or it will destroy your life.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 1:17 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • You have an issue that you probably need counseling to get to the root of and work through. I wonder if this is the only area of your life that you screw up when things get good, or do you sabotage other aspects of your life as well? I hope I am not coming across as mean or hateful, because I don't mean to be.
    sandra1023

    Answer by sandra1023 at 2:42 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • how would you feel if he was doing the same thing to girls and you didnt know about it ? would it really bother you if he was flirty with pretty girls that wanted him ?
    mistik75

    Answer by mistik75 at 9:37 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • get checked for bipolar disorder...i was EXACTLY like this when i was manic....do you have a history of depression? alot of people with bipolar dont realize it because they think they are just depressed and then come out of it, but when you get totally out of control, you MAY be manic. do you have blackouts? do you feel super energized eventhough you only sleep a few hours? do you feel on top of the world all the time? if you feel like this for a month or two you need to see a psychiatrist asap.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 10:12 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Here's my advice... don't know if it will help or not...
    Tell this one guy that you are serious about your bf and start trying to ignore him when you guys start talking. (i know its hard)
    Maybe next, find a good group of girlfriends, preferably non singel, that you will not do this in front of. This way you can kind of police yourself by the company you keep.
    I think its attention, its nice to have that attention and the flirting and kissing. try to have more date nights and alone time with your bf.
    Good Luck
    RachWell

    Answer by RachWell at 6:03 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • What is it that you are missing/needing/wanting either within your relationship or within yourself that drives you to do this?

    In most cases, like the one you are describing, the person is seeking out something that they are either missing within themselves or their relationship. They are trying to fulfill this need/want through interactions/relations with others. Which never works really.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 6:41 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Break up with him, for his sake. Sounds like you're not mature enough to be in this relationship.
    kbakeman

    Answer by kbakeman at 6:44 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

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