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spin off of my other question about my 8 year old nephew and his girl toys

If this was your kid and his choice of toys and his attitude was impacting his friendships at school,what would you do?
Is there an age where you'd start to worry? What if he wanted girl clothes at 12,13?
Right now as it stands,he has 2 friends who are girls. They think its cute that he plays with what he does,but very soon even they are likely to abandon him.
I know as moms we want to stand behind our child's choices,but when these things are making them stand out and are causing them to be picked on,what do we do?
As a side note,we think that our SIL and MIL buy him these things because my SIL wanted a girl and had 2 boys. We think she's encouraging him to want these things. Because of her choices he's led a sheltered life and likes being mommy's little girl. The dad is not in the picture BTW


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 12:01 PM on Dec. 27, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (25)
  • I would start enforcing boy toys. We have a 5 yr old grandson who is obcessed with playing princess and wanting to play dress up. He loves to pick out my clothes for me to wear to work. And yes, it concerns grandpa, me and mommy. We really pushed for boy toys this Christmas. Hot Wheels, etc or nuetral gender toys likes games and legos. I would not allow my relatives to give any girl toys to a boy this age.

    Answer by horsegal2760 at 12:05 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I agree op....that kid is gonna get the crap beat out of him if he rides that bike down the street. He would have gotten a boy bike from me. Im not sure how i would handle this if it were my kid, but I know for sure he would not be riding around on a bike that is gonna get the crap kicked out of him.

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 12:25 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • There is no way in hell i would buy my son a pink bike. I'm sorry, it has nothing to do with letting him "express himself." He's 8 for christ sake. It has to do with me not letting my son get the shit kicked out of him or ridiculed for no reason whatsoever when I could have just as easily bought him a red or blue or black bike.

    Answer by Astraea_79 at 12:48 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • If people are picking on him, then that is THEIR failings, not his, HE has done nothing wrong, liking certain toys is not an excuse for other children to behave badly.
    I would love my child, for whoever they were. I would want them to know that they are always loved and they can be themselves.

    Answer by Piskie at 12:07 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • People will always find a reason to be cruel, children especially. And what lesson are you teaching this kid by enforcing him to play by societal gender rules except "sit down, shut up, don't be "different", fit in at all costs"?

    Answer by geminilove at 12:14 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Not having a dad around is probably not helping...any men in the family who could step up and spend some time with him, kind of as a role model?

    Answer by vicesix at 12:33 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Boys need to be treated like BOYS!!!! If Mommy is having issues and secretly wants a girl, she needs to adopt one and stop trying to turn her son into one.

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 1:56 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I would like my child play with whatever they wanted

    Answer by palexander at 3:14 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I understand what people are saying when they say "let him be who he is" but it sounds like he has never got the chance. If your SIL and MIL are trying to make him a girl and not allowing him to act his age( Dora at 9? really?) he is going to be really screwed up emotionally. I mean if he really likes girl stuff then whatever but if he never got a chance to like boy stuff because his mom is trying to make him a girl then there is a problem. Are you married or do you have a boyfriend or brother who could maybe spend some time with him. Not necessarily doing man things but letting him choose what he wants to do and see what happens. If this little boy really likes girl stuff them be supportive and help him learn to stand up for himself.


    Answer by lilysmom2607 at 3:23 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I would never encourage my child to "just fit in" because that would just cause issues down the line. My kids are going to be who they are and I am going to encourage it. I have been yelled at cause 4yo dd would rather play with bugs than barbies and you know what? I teach her that people are gong to think it is weird and she has to understand that there is nothing wrong with her. I hope that my children will be bigger than people making fun of them even though it hurts.
    I do understand what you are saying and if he does not want to play with these things then that is a problem, but if he genuinely enjoys it than I would let things be.

    Answer by MooNFaeRie30 at 6:30 PM on Dec. 27, 2010