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what should i do?? vent

Ive been seeing this guy for about 3 years now he has 2 boys,,,He put a engagment ring on my finger about 2 years ago. Im not in a rush to get married but hes not even sure if im the one he wants to marry..so i asked him ok then why am i wearing this ring?? He tells me that im hopeing that u will change lol... HE goes to school (colledge),,,and hes home most of the time what he means by change is to clean the house everyday,,take care of his kids,deal with his lazyness,doo all the laundry ..which is all fine except it gets overwhelming when u spend all day cleaning house and he comes home to make a mess,,all i ask him is to pick up after himself....which doesnt happen,, so he told me that if i dont do all this hes gonna find someone else who can...I do clean house,not to mention i pay all the bills ,i cook clean,,,but apperntly its not good enough..im just lost..he stays up al night and sleeps all day..im the only one who does do anything with his kids,,i love his kids to death but they know im not there real mom soo they dont listen to me at all..i went in at 4 pm yesterday to wake there dad up ..i tell him the kids arnt listing,,he tells me to be a mom..i told him no matter what ill never be ther quote mom,,i just think its wrong of me to play that role fully..i snapped and told him well why dont you be a dad..anyways enogh of my venting just tell me what you all think and any advice thanks

Answer Question
 
Jimmyswify

Asked by Jimmyswify at 1:00 PM on Dec. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (69 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • He doesn't sound like a man I'd want to marry.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 1:02 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • And you thinking about marriage? You getting used sweetie.
    nicjon

    Answer by nicjon at 1:02 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • If he actually said that he thought he could change you, I'd give the ring back and go my separate way. You either love someone for who they are or you don't - going into a relationship hoping things get better over time doesn't work. You're right - you're not their mom, and it doesn't sound like he wants to be a parent, he wants you to do it. That's not fair to you or the children.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 1:03 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • RUN! Do you really want to spend the rest of your life in this type of situation? Its obvious that your eyes are wide opened so do yourself a favor and run now before its too late...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:03 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Leave his fu****ing abusive ass, and don't look back!
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 1:06 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Do you really want to spend your life being his cleaning lady? He is using you for live in cleaning and child care, and I would guess "benefits" as well. He keeps telling you that he'll find someone who will do things better than you. Personally, I'd tell him to do just that because I'm done.

    You will find someone to appreciate you for you, not your cooking and cleaning abilities. It might be difficult for a while, but you deserve so much better. Take a chance on you.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 1:07 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • im sorry honey but it seems to me that he dont deserve a good wife or stepmother to his kids like you you are better then that im sorry honey i do think he is using you & he dont deserve to marry you & you can find better than that mama im sorry your fiance is treating you like this
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 1:12 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • You should sit down with him and tell him exactly how you feel. Hopefully he will respect you and your feelings. If not then you need to do what you feel is best for you. I think if you were to decide to leave it may take a little while, but this guy will defintely see all that you do not only for him but for the children. It sounds like he is just taking you for granted. Give him the chance first to listen to you and how you feel, if he still does not change then you need to do what makes you happy. You deserve more, and if this guy is not willing to meet you half way then you need to move on. It takes two to make a relationship work and he needs to be willing to work together with you, not against you.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 1:14 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Run at the speed of a baby cheetah during feeding time. He says you will change and he expects you to take care of his kids while he lays around and when you think about it does he want a life partner or someone he can force to take care of his kids? I would ask him how this is going to change or improve your life after I would sit down and ask myself is it right I should take care of someone else's kids without them helping and is it really a loss because you are deserving of someone who pays their way like you do and works as hard to make you their equal as you do for them. GL Momma

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:18 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • OMG!!! Leave that guy right away. He is using you as a slave. He's never gonna marry you. Don't be a fool. Go and find someone who actually lives his life and love you and don't use you as a slave!!! I am sure you are young and attractive and if you pay the bills it means you have money to keep an own house. Why on the Earth you let him do this with you? :-O Come on, Girl:) You are better than this guy!!! Rock on!!!
    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 1:19 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

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