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2 Bumps

What can I do?

Okay the story is my brother is a diagnosed schitzophrenic, he was diagnosed at 15 he's now 32. A few years ago he met a woman through one of his behavior management programs that has some major emotional problems. Not sure what the exact term is for her condition but she is very slow, and doesn't really know how to take care of herself, ie. bathing, wearing clean clothes, taking care of a house, or getting or keeping a job. My family was devastated when she got pregnant, but we gave them lots of support and loved our newest baby nephew. When he was 10 months old she accused my brother of beating her and he was sent to jail and she was left alone with the baby. My family and I tried several times to get custody of him because she was not mentally capable. Finally when she ditched him with a drug addict cps removed him and gave full custody to my mom. He is now 3 and has so many emotional problems from being severely neglected as a baby. At first he couldn't even handle being touched, but he's come really far in my moms care. After my brother got out of jail he went back to her, and of course got her pregnant again. Their daughter is 13 months old and they just had another baby boys 2 weeks ago. Cps does in home checks on them all the time and so far they are doing everything they are supposed to be doing in their eyes. Last week the new baby got so sick he had to be life flighted to a hospital 6 hours away. My brother asked me to take care of his daughter so I drove 2 hours away and brought her home so they could go be with the baby, who turned out to have intestinal malformation and require surgery to put all his insides in the right places. This was a birth defect most likely caused by his mother smoking a pack a day while pregnant and malnutrion. Anyway, I got my niece home and she was filthy. All of her clothes were dirty, and she has brown scabs all over her head from never getting bathed. Not only that but she's 13 months and not walking and barely crawling and there is something obviously wrong with her hips. Also she is so quiet, she never talks or cries. She got hit in the head by my 18month old with a toy and didn't even whimper, and when she'd fall over or bump her head she didn't make a peep. I'm so worried about her. Now she's back at home with her parents, and they have a very sick baby to take care of. He has a 6 inch long incision on his tummy that has to be clean and cared for or he could get a serious infection. I'm just so worried about both of these babies but cps told my mom that unless there is physical proof of abuse they can't do anything.
I'm sorry this is so long and if you've taken the time to read the whole thing I thank you. I just want some advice. I fear for the lives of 2 innocent children. I love my brother to death and I know his disease is not his fault and he really does love his kids, he just doesn't know the proper way to take care of them. My niece was still drinking forumula and eating baby food, she'd never even had solid food yet until she came here and she's over a year old. He just doesn't know how to do it, he barely knows how to take care of himself. Any advice would be really appreciated.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Dec. 27, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • Holy crap.. I am SO sorry, this made me sick to hear how these poor babies are being cared for... I don't have any advice... but here's a bump....

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:26 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I don't have nay advice either. have you tried contacting CPS and talking directly with the case worker? How about a lawyer, maybe see what you can do? I wished I had more, I feel so bad for the whole situation.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 1:30 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • It makes me sick as well. I lay awake at night praying for them and worrying myself sick about what to do. I feel so helpless. When we were trying to get the oldest one taken away I drove over there several times to go to the police and cps and they wouldn't do anything until he was left abandoned with a drug dealer who called the cops and said he had a baby at his house and didn't know who it belonged to. It could have ended so much worse for him.
    While I had my niece I went and bought her new clothes and some toys and things that she needed but it killed me to give her back to them. I've been a wreck all day.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:31 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • maybe offer to go there and help with things. that way you can be there they will get the proper care, and they can learn from you? i don't know. if it were my brother i would just go them! lol. also if youre there you can document things. it is hard when you love someone who can't care for themselves let alone a baby. and im not being mean, but i think people that have severe disabilities like this shouldn't be able to have kids.....sorry, but that is my oppinion. but it does sound like your brother is at leaste trying to do right. i don't know, good luck and keep us updated if you figure it out.

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 1:32 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • OMG!!! Call the Child Support!!! Tell them everything! Ask second and third opinions! Probably they clean up the children when the child supporter go there. You should take some photos how the little girl looked like when you saw her first! It is awkward! I am so sorry for you and the little children:( I don't know why on the Earth the People from the Government don't do anything! You can't protect your brother and that woman anymore. It is all about the children now!


    Answer by adriennfaklya at 1:35 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I wish I could go over there but they live in another state over 2 hours away and I have 3 kids of my own and a job. We all thought that when she got pregnant the second time the baby would be automatically taken since she had the first one taken, but that was not the case. I did take pictures of her head while she was here but I had it mostly cleaned up by the time she left today. She looked like a different kid today than she did a week ago. My mom has gone rounds with cps about her but of course everytime they go over all they care about is that there is food in the cupboards and the house is clean enough. They don't care that this baby doesn't ever get seen by a doctor or that she has no clean clothes and that she isn't developing properly. They don't even pick her up and check her over they just walk in, check the house conditions and walk out.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:40 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Have you tried to call the main DHS office in your state. Sometimes doing that can help because obviously the county DHS isn't failing to properly do its job.

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 2:08 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I would talk to a lawyer. It sounds like you need professional help in rescuing these children. I'm so sorry for your family, and for these precious babies. Is there any chance your brother may be overwhelmed, and willing to help your family get custody of these kids??

    My heart is with you, good luck.

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:00 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I have just cried my eyes out reading this.. You just described my life as a child.. my mother was diagnosed with paranoid schitzaphrenia before i was born.. she was a wonderful women to say the least but she had problems.. it took my dad until I was almost 5 before he got custody of me.. My mother even left me inside a house for a whole day while she was off doing whatever and they cps still didnt give my dad custody... The court system is so messed up.. yes i am glad they dont take kids from their mother easily but if they dont some of these kids will suffer.. I will keep your family and those children in my prayers because I have been there and it is very difficult to handle.. The only thing you can do is stay close to them.. watch their every move keep a diary of the kids condition their cleanliness and everything that could be a factor for the courts get a lawyer and take them to court.. believe it or not my dad took my

    Answer by momof241988 at 1:06 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • my mom to court almost 10 times before he got custody... goodluck and god bless you

    Answer by momof241988 at 1:07 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

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