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2 Bumps

I need an opinion

My boyfriend just got a divorce he has a son who will be 2 in 2 months he doesn't know him his ex took him and left when he was about 7 months she went to court to file for divorce and has it so he only gets what she is willing to give why the he** a judge agreed to that is beyond me and she lives 12 hours away and we dont have the money to go up there or move right now. His dad and mom divorced when he was young and he hates his dad for pulling him out of his environment for the summer and doesnt want his son to go through that and i told him i would support him in whatever he decides. does anyone have any advice on what we should do whether we fight for his son or let her raise him and just be there financially and when he gets older if he wants to see his dad let that be his call? we are very confused. and my boyfriend is starting to get depressed he feels the weight on his shoulders because he feels no matter what he does it will be wrong.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Dec. 27, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (7)
  • It sounds like this woman would be one of those who would turn your SO son against him. So I'd go back to court and file whatever you have to to modify the custody agreement. I know you said your SO hated it when his dad took him for the summer but ask him this. Would he have rather not seen his dad at all?
    You have to fight for what you want. So if you two want a relationship with this little boy then do it. Even if you can only afford to see him 6 or 7 times a year (with his mom meeting you half way) then that's what you do.
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 2:49 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Did he move away or did she? How did he end up 12 hours away? I think he should try to see him when he can. If he can go there even once a year it would be nice to see him and try to keep in touch as much as possible. Send bday cards and such as well. Maybe things will change and he can find a job there in the next year or so.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 4:54 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Wy did they get a divorce? Is she holding something over his head? Im asking because I was dating someone who gave me a story like this. He was torn up over not seeing his daughter. We dated abotu 2 yrs and I couldnt believe she wouldnt let him see his dd. Then I got preg., we got married, he was drinking all the time..I saw the crazy side of him...now he has supervised visits with my dd. Sometimes the woman has a reason that we will never know...there are 2 sides to every story.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Regardless of what happens, make sure your man calls his little boy everyday and sends him birthday cards. Then, if the son stays with his mom, he will still know his dad loves him when he gets a little older. He won't feel abandoned.
    Averylee85

    Answer by Averylee85 at 6:57 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Well it's not "we" it's "him" but the best thing for the child is to be in a stable enviroment, it sounds like the child's mother provides that
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 8:00 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • i would just keep doing what your doing....one day he will want to meet his dad...i dont know the sit. but what if his son is in a very happy place right now and you guys come in it may make it better but what if it dont you dont wanna be the one who does that.. i would deff sent bday cards and holiday cards to let him know you do love him and are thinking of him....unless you believe the mother is hurting him then i would step in...
    ponyland

    Answer by ponyland at 11:36 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • She packed up and left the day after they got married to go live with her parents they only got married because he believed he would lose his son if she just left. He checks on him but he is still to young to talk on the phone and the thing that is annoying is it isn't she who is raising this baby it is her parents but his environment seems to be stable.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:28 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

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