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need help w my boyfriend

i think my boyfriend could be cheating or thinking about cheating. hes been deleting text messages off his phone and gets extreamly possive of his phone if i ask to use it to call some one. he gets nervous. i need a way to use my laptop to look into his phone at messages hes been sending and reciving, including the deleted ones. any one know what i could do to find proof that he is cheating or that im just being parinoid?

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wiccanmommy

Asked by wiccanmommy at 3:08 PM on Dec. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • OK...Firstly, whats the phone company hes using? ;)
    khf22

    Answer by khf22 at 3:09 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Breaking into his cell phone records isn't cool. Just ask him why he's being so weird.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 3:09 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Your internal instinct just told you that he more than likely is cheating on you - - - I say let him go - - - you are better off without him.
    rebeccan3

    Answer by rebeccan3 at 3:09 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • i have asked him. and he tells me im being dumb. we have a son together thats 3yrs old and were engaged to be married soon. i love him dearly and hes never acted like this before. but i cant just dump him w out a good reason. and i need proof. id rather be provin wrong then right but i need to know first.
    wiccanmommy

    Comment by wiccanmommy (original poster) at 3:12 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I wouldn't accept his answer that you're "being dumb" - either way, he should acknowledge your feelings. You should sit down together and have an honest conversation. Be firm in letting him know how you are feeling and that you cannot get married feeling this way. I would say that if he isn't open to explaining what is going on, you give him the ultimatum.

    Either way, I don't think it is right to dig through his phone records. If he isn't doing anything wrong and you've done that (looked into his files) it is going to be very hard to have a trusting relationship moving forward. Just my two cents.....
    Sbrady8208

    Answer by Sbrady8208 at 3:20 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I don't think it's right for you to dig through phone records. If he's hiding something from you (which it sounds like), why do you even want to marry him? I can look at my DH's phone whenever I want to - I don't because I trust him. You need to ask your boyfriend why he's being secretive. You're not being dumb.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 3:39 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • If you have to sneak to make sure he's not cheating on you, what good is it to be in a relationship with him? You have trust issues with this man...you feel as if he's cheating on you because he gets nervous when you want to use his phone. He deletes text messages off his phone...if you feel that he's cheating on you, #1 - either ask him and know when he's lying to you or #2 leave him alone...stressing over whether or not he's cheating on you is not a healthy way to live ;)
    treasured_hope

    Answer by treasured_hope at 3:55 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • You said you are getting married soon, right? Has it occurred to you that he is trying to plan a surprise honeymoon for you? Maybe a very special gift and he is trying to keep you from finding out.


    Holy Hell! Why do some women automatically jump to the "He's cheating! Dump him!


    If you "love him dearly" as you claim, what's with the sudden paranoia and lack of trust? Has he EVER cheated on you before? If not, then why make that illogical leap? 

    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 4:28 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Benefit of the doubt and innocent until proven guilty. I really wish girls would stop thinking that their husband is cheating when he's not. I think you have trust issues and you need to tell him about your trust issues and find out what you BOTH need to do.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 3:43 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

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