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I love my hubby, but sometimes I feel like he's not ready for our baby,

He's so scared to try and bond because he is afriad of hurting the child somehow. Our relationship is fine. But idk. What are some bonding tips, or things that your husbands/bfs did when your baby was born?

 
Hezekiahs_mom

Asked by Hezekiahs_mom at 7:17 PM on Jul. 6, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 15 (2,057 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • he's not ready, honey. they are more scared than we are. they were scared the moment you told him you missed your period. and it will come, in time. he will be comfortable in his own time, and in a different way than you. remember, we had almost nine months to get used to the idea. they didn't, really. not physically. my husband sings to my son, since he was a new baby. mostly jimmy buffet, but at 3 years old, our son still prefers his daddy's offkey/offbeat singing, to my trained voice.
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 7:32 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • well some guys are like that my hubby was the same the only thing you can do is wait for the baby to come....youll see that he will come arond..and if he is a first then its going to take a min....he is just still shoked
    ladythorp

    Answer by ladythorp at 7:50 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • I had to make my bf touch my tummy because he thought that he would hurt the baby. I believe that some men may not think that they have a gentle touch. Babys are fragile and men sometimes feel that they are too fragile even while inside you. He'll get better at bonding, it comes naturally. My bf does a lot more talking than touching.
    Queentdi

    Answer by Queentdi at 8:28 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • Most men have this issue, in some way. He'll come around at his own pace, don't force it. Try to involve him when you play with the baby, show him without telling him that your baby is not THAT delicate. Have him feed the baby if your not breastfeeding too.
    ChasesMommy0115

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 9:02 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • They think babies are made of glass... SHOW him that babies aren't as fragile as he thinks they are. Have him wear the baby in one of those carriers as you walk around the mall, or have him feed her, change diapers... just get him involved as much as he can. Also, try to get him excited about all the things that the baby will be able to do soon that will be more fun for him... like running, playing, etc.
    crazysocks830

    Answer by crazysocks830 at 11:31 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • my advice is to expose him to babies now. so he can see that they aren't as breakable as he thinks they are. buy a glider or a rocker, teach him how to hold the baby and he'll watch football or baseball or spike or whatever and hold that baby until you beg him to put the baby down.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 11:36 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • Hey! I'm a old school mom that was a 16 year old mom.....all moms rock on Cafe Moms...all moms!
    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 12:30 AM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • Wait and see there is no wrong or right until it truly happens. He may be super dad, it's not learned it there or it's not you'll see!!!
    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 12:31 AM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • Yea, it's something about some men and babies. My daughter dad was so scared he was shaking.
    jesspraise35

    Answer by jesspraise35 at 12:51 AM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • Encourage it and expect it. Give him something to do and let him ask questions. Unless he is hurting the child, don't correct him. Let him get his feet wet and develope his own way of doing things. He will do some things differently and he should because he is a Dad, not a Mom. Dads have their own style. Give him lots of kudos when he tries, not just when he does and A1 job. BTW, some Dads become great partipants when the children start to walk and talk. They are good at having wrestling matches and playing ball. Infants aren't ready for that so he may find a groove in toddlerhood and beyond when the babes aren't so quiet and fragile~!
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 8:25 AM on Jul. 7, 2008

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