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Does he really mean it, did I screw things up?

My ex started talking to me again. We have talked everday since then through e-mail but we are not together. When I first saw him at the bar, I didn't go home with him. The next time we went on a date, he only spent the night. Saturday he came over and we ended up doing it (we were drunk). He e-mailed me and said: "Sorry about last night, I should have listened to your wishes. It wasnt very respectful of me and I'm sorry." He told me not to be dissapointed, that it was his fault too and we can keep moving and that we probably should hold off until we know for sure about things. I asked him what he meant and this was his response: "Hold off on doin it. I'm scared of getting hurt again, so I want to make sure that this is the right thing to do and that we can work these things out. We've been talking a lot and I'm feeling really good about us."


Asked by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Nov. 10, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • it sounds like he thinks you guys are back together but taking things slow. he feels that having slept wiht you that you might feel that you guys are back together and he is not sure that is what he wants. i think you should find another man. either he wants you or not but not leaves you on the back burner in case someone else better comes along.

    Answer by melody77 at 11:36 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • no one did anything wrong he feels you should hold off on sex til your absolutly positive about each other. sex can complicate relationships and sometimes when things end to soon if sex was involved people get hurt, not because thire in love but because they had a physical connection and sometime it can be just as hard to let go of as an emotioal one and he doesnt want that to happen. if i was you id agree and slow things back down like he asked

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • i think most men mean what they say. if youve known him to be truthful in the past i would go off of that. if youve known him to be a liar then that is probably your answer. go with your gut.

    Answer by bubblebean at 11:39 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I wouldn't think you screwed things up. But if you push him you might. Just let him take the lead. If he wants something more, he will let you know. Keep in contact, but keep it light.

    Answer by drowninginboys at 12:00 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • It sounds like he really cares, he is wanting to make sure that the two of you are back on track.
    He wants to do the right thing, by holding off on sex. He wants to make sure that the two of you are making the right decision.

    Answer by SLPERRY at 12:04 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Does he really mean it, did I screw things up? (Cont'd)

    One more thing, I told him that I did not want to do it to begin with and had to stop him the last time we hung out when he spent the night. He knew that I did not want to and I explained to him the reason why I didn't want to. That is why he sent the e-mail and was apologizing because he kept trying and I finally gave in. Plus, we were drunk and that didn't help the situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • to me it sounds like he is being very reasonable and sensible. sounds like he is willing to try again but very slow. watch the impulse to jump back in where you left off... and maybe alcohol isn't a great idea if you both give in to impulse with it. if you want a working relationship, first you need to decide if you are willing to go down the path he is offering or if you need more. if you need more, can you agree to what goal you want? when my hubby and i hooked up neither wanted a relationship but recognized we wanted to be together and that going out all the time drinking or dating other people would make that not work and we wanted to give it a real try... set your limits together... that's a partnership.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:40 PM on Nov. 10, 2008