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I go around and

Close the bread when my husband makes toast or a sandwich.
Put the coffee away after my husband makes coffee.
Put the milk in the refrigerator after my husband has cereal.
Rewrap the cheese and put it away after he has a piece.
I will ask him "Please close the bread after you use it."
"Please put the top back on the coffee."
"Please put the milk back in the refrigerator."
"Please put the cheese away."
And on and on.
He will say " I was going to" but he usually doesn't. And he starts arguing with me and says that I am demeaning him in front of the LO.

Do you think or does he really think that I should just not say anything and ignore it?


Asked by tootoobusy at 5:25 PM on Dec. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 52 (487,465 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • My thoughts based on what you shared.

    He may very well actually feel that way. It all depends on : the words and tone you use in order to address these things with him.

    Just saying nothing and ignoring it will, in the long run, only make you resentful towards him due to these things. Those resentments will fester and bleed over into other parts of your relationship. That's just not good all the way around.

    It seems like there is a communication block between the 2 of you. Neither of you are at "fault" it's not a his fault her fault thing. It just seems like the 2 of you aren't affectively communicating in this area. You try to address an issue, he takes issue in regards to how the issue is being addressed.Therefore the issue never gets rectified and the cycle continues.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:34 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Or you can just leave everything where he left it. And see how long it stays that way.Me and my DH eat different type of bread, so I do not even touch his.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:32 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Leave what you can, to see if he's good on his word. But I would smell the milk before pouring any for the LO's. Your grocery bill may expand while you're waiting him out! Good luck.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:35 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • What a dork. They're all the same except my husband thinks it's funny when I have to do the other half of everything for him. We bicker lovingly thanks to him, I can flip out over crumbs, seriously flip out. I'm glad he has the patience he has if not one of us would be in prison right now!:)

    Answer by nqmochafrappe at 6:28 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I go through the same thing... I am sorry. I know it is extremely annoying. Our big one was the trash, it was his only job in the house but always let it pile up, forget to take it out, replace can with new bag, and the list goes on. I tried many things... Let it go (that got stinky). Tie up the bags and set them next to the can (it usually got to 4 bags before he made any action), and just taking it out. I then realized that if I take it out infront of him he got the point.
    My suggestion: Everytime you see something he forgot, ask him nicely to do it, then walk away. At first it may take him 5 minutes to actually get up and do it (if he is like my DH). If he doesn't do it after a long time, go ahead and do it (cause i know it's bothering you). But don't say anything else. Maybe your one, nice request may make the change happen. But, it takes TIME. (I'm talking months!)

    Answer by RachWell at 5:49 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • My husband is good about putting things back, but I've experienced people who are horrible about it. They either expect you to just follow them around and do it for you, or to do it whenever they remember. However, when they remember it's gone bad or is stale. I would hate living with someone like that.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 6:12 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I agree with Pixie Trix, it depends on how you're saying it, etc. There is a communication break down. He may feel like you're mothering him or telling him what to do, and you feel like you're asking him to just put away his stuff. You could sit down and talk about your communication styles and find out how he is hearing you and if it's matching what you're trying to say, or leave the stuff out. He says he is going to put it away, so give him the opportunity to. If he doesn't, then one would hope he'd realize it.

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 8:34 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Stop asking him to do these small things; he should be able to figure it out.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 2:46 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I think he is feeling quilty and making excuses. On top of that it is a horrible role model.

    Comment by tootoobusy (original poster) at 8:40 PM on Dec. 27, 2010