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2 Bumps

How should I react to friend?

Going to try to make this short. My best friend (also DS' Godmother) and I have been friends for almost 10 yrs. In that time we have MANY fights where she stops talking to me. Later on she will randomly talk to me again and say 'let's not talk about, just move on.' Because of all the good times we have had, I do. She is almost always there for me when I need help, and when she needs something I am there too. We talk almost
everyday (when we are talking LOL) and she also met and married my husbands coworker. We both lived in FL, but now (due to husbands) live in NC (about 5 miles apart)!
I had a Christmas party that 'she forgot about' and also missed 5 of my calls that night, but called in the morning to apologize. Now, a few of our mutual friends (she is closer to them but I have been in touch with them over the 10 yrs as well) are coming up here for New Years. I just heard through the grape vine that she is having a New Years Eve party with many of the couples at our husbands work and our mutual friends from FL. BUT my husband and I were not invited, and it's been very secretive. I will say she has done a great job at keeping this from me. So... what do i do.
Not talk about it, and have a quiet night home with DH and DS?
Call her up and tell her I got a babysitter and invite her and her DH out for the evening?
Or straight up ask her why we weren't invited? (but then do i dare have the guts to show up if i ask in advance?)
Thanks!!!

 
RachWell

Asked by RachWell at 6:28 PM on Dec. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (538 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • I like the idea of calling her & telling her you have a babysitter & then asking her if she has plans for the evening because you'd like to do something with her. If she doesn't mention the party, you know she is avoiding inviting you...which is messed up.


    This is a good way to see how good of a friend she really is. If she avoids telling you about the party, i would cut ties. It would be obvious to me that she only wants to be my friend when it is convenient for her & that is not a true friend at all.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:51 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Sounds to me like you don't have a very good friend... I would cut my losses and miss all of her calls from now on.

    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 6:32 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I would not say a word to her about it. If she wanted you there she would have invited you. Make plans without her and enjoy your family.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 6:42 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I agree with bjojola, I would just cut my losses as well. She does not sound like a friend at all. You could always ask her why she did not invite you, but from what you have said, I don't think you would get an answer, or at least not a straight one.
    Tawneekitn

    Answer by Tawneekitn at 6:40 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I would confront her about it and let her know how things look from your point of view, that way you can find out what's really going on without assuming the worst. Depending on the answer she gives you, decide if you want to continue to be friends.
    Averylee85

    Answer by Averylee85 at 6:42 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Definitely NOT a BEST friend.

    What would you LIKE to do?

    If you would rather be alone with you DH, then do that.

    If this party sounds like it will be fun, and you enjoy the company of most of the people you know will be there, CRASH...and see if she dares to react to your uninvited arrival.

    In any case, it doesn't seem like hers is basket you can safely put your eggs in, going forward.
    ss_mom

    Answer by ss_mom at 6:45 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Not sure. But would like to know how it all works out.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:44 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Ignore her, it sounds like she suddenly thinks she's too good for you and is trying to leave you behind. Did her husband get a raise? New car? New home?
    nqmochafrappe

    Answer by nqmochafrappe at 6:45 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I used to worried and make a fool form myself because I wanted to be beloved by everyone and please everyone. Time and experience taught me (thanks God) that time and feeling wasters exist. From that time I can separate my real friend from those who use me as they want. I have less real friends but more time to celebrate life and true relationships:P Only the first step is hard. But believe me it worth it:P

    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 6:47 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I would call her the morning before the party and invite her to dinner when she says no say well we will have a good time and you have a good time at your party after I would sit down and wonder who has more invested in this friendship? She knows your going to find out through the grapevine let her know you know and move on. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:51 PM on Dec. 27, 2010