Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why do older moms think they KNOW EVERYTHING?

I see lots of teen moms getting bashed by older moms WHY? Atleast the teens wont be in a retirement home when they graduate from high school

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Jul. 6, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (38)
  • im not sure why Maybe they still think that it is unexceptable. ITs weird how Women went from being 16-18 having kids and Marrying and it being Common and welcomed to having to be 25-35 to be accepted and being viewed as a Good mom. I guess there grandparents werent good parents for having children young... I dont know

    Answer by pebbles86 at 7:25 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • i don't think you're being fair to 'older moms'. anyone who's been somewhere before me, and knows how bumpy or exhilirating the road is, is someone i want to talk to! i'd gladly take advice from an experienced person, rather than someone as dumb as i. take the chip off your shoulder, and admit we all need advice/help. that's what this site is for, right?

    Answer by thehairnazi at 7:28 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • thats a damn good question....i'd love to know the answer....i'd also like to know why my son (who does very well academically and behaviorally in school) has teachers who are shocked when they find out i was 15 when i got pregnant....and to find out that i am college!....just because i made one mistake (because my parents sheltered me from desperately needed info...imo) doesnt mean im a total fuck up!

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 7:29 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • alot of them are "old school" as far as things weren't like that when they were first time mom's, also it's because they've been there done that, I'm not an older mom but i do catch myself telling new moms how to do things the way i did/do them but then i have to realize that, my way may not work for them.

    Answer by workenmom at 8:02 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • Older moms know just how much harder her (and her baby's) lives will be because of a stuipd mistake.
    Making that mistake shows a lack of judgment. It will be years before that stigma wears off, if ever.
    Older moms have more life experience to draw on. When life throws you a curve ball, it's that experience you draw on to get through.
    Many moms know that teens who get pregnant on purpose are selfishly (and foolishly) looking for someone to love them unconditionally. Of course, they don't ask themselves why they don't love their own parents... they are certain the baby will think mom is the greatest thing ever.
    Older moms know that teen "dads" are not likely to stick around even when he says he will. Just look at all the "my BF is leaving" posts. Being a single, young mom is even harder and men won't want to get involved.
    I know these don't apply to every teen mom but it applies to enough of them to make older moms shake their heads.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 8:12 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • I don't think that older moms feel they know everything. It's just that they have a lot of life experience and tend to try to share that with others so they don't make the same mistakes. Everyone does that actually. Think about it...would you give advice to someone who was 20 years younger than you if you saw them about to do something that you felt might make their lives more difficult? Wouldn't you try to show them that you think they're making a mistake? It might not be a mistake to them but they also might not see the full picture.

    I'm not saying that every bit of advice is good advice. But the person giving it sure feels that it is.

    Answer by amethystrse at 8:17 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • I don't know why anyone of any age feels the need to bash anyone at all. We are all ignorant about somethings. We need to all act respectfully and do our best to encourage one another and try to get along. But as I have been told before...people love drama.

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 8:26 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • older moms dont so much bash younger moms; it is that they are stating their opinion and it comes out the wrong way. Besides this a different kind of year and it is not surprising that moms are having babies between the ages 15-18. older moms are just old school and dont realize that not every young mom is going to be a bad mom.

    Answer by mommy-in-pink at 8:26 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • I think it is an age gap effect. My mom was almost 40 when she adopted me and there definitely was a communication gap. I had my first when I was 17,18,20, 21,31, and 35. I have a fantastic relationship with my older kids that are now parents themselves.

    Answer by seeshell59 at 8:30 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • I'm curious is an older mom a woman with age, or a woman who didn't have children until she was older? Anyway, I guess I would be considered an older mom by both standards. My first was born when I was 19. My youngest two are my now adopted grandchildren. My oldest son and I were very close. We talked explicitly about all the important topics and anything else he wanted to know. In the end he CHOSE to reject all he had been taught. other son chose to accept those same teachings. When young mothers, or any other for that matter ask a question here on a topic I have knowledge of I offer what I know. It is advise you may take it or leave it. You have not walked in my shoes you do not know my life history. You do yourself a great diservice to generalize all 'older moms'. It is entirely possible you do not even know what you don't know.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:46 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.