Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Which is it?? adult content

I have noticed something rather interesting. 

In one section, the answers run along the lines of "Give your husband sex, no matter how you feel b/c if you don't someone else will."

While in another section, the answers (many by the same women) run along the lines of "Hubby is a big boy and can take care of himself, the kids come first, NO MATTER WHAT."

That "no matter what" is what brought on this observation. You obviously cannot be giving hubby the sex he "demands" if you are putting your kids' needs first. 

So ladies, which is it? 


Asked by SpiritedWitch at 8:53 PM on Dec. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 40 (118,000 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Which is it?

    It's neither. In fact, believing in either premise is ridiculous and unrealistic. 

    According to Premise A (always give sex or he'll find it somewhere else) I'm SOL because I've been put on pelvic rest for the duration of this pregnancy.  Doing it anyway would put both me and the baby at risk.  So, according to Premise A, my husband has every right to go find himself a replacement vagina at this point.  I think y'all can see that Premise A is pretty stupid.

    According to Premise B (kids come first no matter what) I'm SOL because I'm not allowed to bend over, lift anything over 10 pounds or stand for more than 30 minutes at a time.  So, according to Premise B, my kids should come first NO MATTER WHAT, and I should be totin' that bale and haulin' that barge anyway and risk death.  I guess y'all can see that Premise B is pretty stupid too.


    Answer by Fistandantalus at 8:31 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I think there's a compromise of the two. Obviously, if you're actively taking care of the kids, you can't be banging away in the bedroom, but if the kids are asleep, and you're up for it, go for it. I don't think a woman should feel like she HAS to do it EVERY TIME her husband wants it, but I know I do it a little more than I'm up for it. I don't accept every invite I get from my husband, but he's satisfied, and he knows he can take care of business by himself if need be. I have faith he's not going to stray. I think if a man strays, there are deeper issues than not getting sex enough (unless it's been months, but again, other issues at play by then).

    Answer by musicpisces at 8:56 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • no "man" would demand sex before the children are cared for, at least not in my home

    Answer by angevil53 at 8:57 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Kids first all the time with me. My man has a hand he can take care of himself if my kids need me at the time. If I'm not in the mood for sex he isn't getting any because it would be the same why if he wasn't in the mood for sex I wouldn't be getting any.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 8:55 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Well, I'm at a loss as to what this is really about, but...

    I don't think my husband would stray if I can't reach his sexual demands. He knows I take care of his sons all day, every day. HOWEVER. Any healthy relationship requires that you make time for some for each other. If you can't give your spouse/SO that time, then you're only roommates who happen to have children together.

    I mean, I don't know about everyone else, but I didn't give up being myself when I had children, and neither did my husband. We did not give up being husband and wife when we took the titles of father and mother.

    Answer by SpaceToast at 9:09 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I can and will only speak for myself.

    Unless it is an emergency.. My husband comes first.. It's not because I believe if I don't have sex with him someone else will. It's because our relationship comes second in priority only to myself.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 9:12 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • Husband always comes first over kids, unless an emergency. And sex can be given at any time of day or night. it doesnt have to be a set time. and if your husband is understanding like mine he knows that i will make time for sex with him with no interruptions. Husband comes first cause if you didnt have hubby you wouldnt have the kids and at some point the kids are going to move out and move on with their lives while your husband will still be there.. you can not make up for lost time with your children or your spouse so you have to learn to balance and compromise.

    Answer by mrssundin at 9:18 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • I think the needs of your kids should come before the needs of your husband. If he's horny, he can take care of it with the stroke of a hand.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 2:07 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Kids

    Answer by DansBabe at 10:11 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • im sorry i have to put my baby boy first then when he is settled down then i give time for my boyfriend & he understands that he even tells me make sure the baby is ok before we start anything

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 10:30 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

Next question in Relationships
Anniversary ideas!!!!

Next question overall (Tweens (9-12))
Is This Nomal?