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My 13 year old son constantly disrespects me, talks back to me,and is just plain mean and it makes me sad.

I am a single mom with 13 year old twins. My son has some health issues , because of this I spend alot of time going back and forth to doctors with him, sometimes having to leave my daughter with other family . It seems when ever I am with him he shows me no respect, talks back to me in front of his friends This all makes me very upset and really hurt that I am treated like this by my own child.

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nidnee

Asked by nidnee at 11:47 PM on Dec. 27, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • You need to take back the reins. You are the parent and the adult. When he gets to be too much, remind him that you are his mother and he is your son. You need to set boundaries of how far you are willing to tolerate this behavior. I personally do not tolerate any disrespect from my children while they are with me. I cannot control what happens when they are not with me. However, I do know that they have a lot of respect for me because I gave them boundaries and held fast to them. When the kids tried to push, I pushed back harder. I took things away, such as privelages of talking on the phone, going out, driving to school. Things that were important to them. Sometimes it created a hassell for me, yet it made my point to them. It was not always easy. You have to stick to your guns and stand up to your son. He has to know that you are the adult and that you are the one in charge.
    guyandtoni01

    Answer by guyandtoni01 at 12:07 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Tough love hun. I'm sorry you have to go threw this. I'd say first thing would be privileges get taken away.
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 5:02 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I don't remember who this book is by but it might help. It is called something like have a new kid by friday. It teaches you how to handle those kinds of moments.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 6:41 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • It's normal for 13 yr olds to act like that. Just tell him to stop.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:50 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • at 13 I would never had talked backed to my mother and my son never did to me either. If he does that in front of his friends ...send the friends home, right then and there !!! DO NOT tolerate disrespect!!! You need to get tough yesterday !!! When he behaves in a disrespectful/mean way he should be punished right then and there 100% of the time. Do NOT TAKE ANY CRAP from him. He is the child you are the parent !!
    Sit him down and talk with him and letting him know YOU WILL NOT tolerate any more crap from him
    justgrape723

    Answer by justgrape723 at 7:37 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I'd recommend telling him how it makes you feel, having a real heart to heart and finding out why he treats you that way. I did this when my son was 15 because of the way he was treating me, it was justifiable considering at the time I had left my family and had just moved back home, he was furious and hurt. We had a long talk and I expressed how much I loved him, how I was sorry that I hurt him and that he hurts me by the things he says or the tone he uses etc. I let him know that I want to have a relationship with him after he leaves home, and it breaks my heart to think he doesn't want that too. It worked for us, he even shared some things with me I didn't realize I was even doing, since that talk a year ago it has been so much better here. I've adjusted somethings about myself so I don't have the same issues with my 12 yr old and so far so good. Kids forget we're human too, I'd suggest that approach first.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:47 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I have been thinking about you and your son all day. I agree with blessedwboysx3 about talking with your son. There may be multiple things going on that you may not realize. There is also something else that I have been thinking about. It is sort of ornery though. The next time he is disrespectful to/about you in front of his friends, you could always say, "Oh dear, you are having one of those days. I'll pull out your special blanket for you to sleep with tonight.  OK?"  He will eventually get the idea to stop the bad talking as it will have a back lash to him.  I know that this is underhanded and some consider this mean.  I however, consider this a lesson for the kids to understand that there are consequences to every action. It can be a hard lesson to learn without too much pain. (Some grins for the mom also :)  )

    guyandtoni01

    Answer by guyandtoni01 at 9:05 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

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