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2 Bumps

What can I do to keep my sanity?

One of my daughters friends came home from college on winter break and asked to spend xmas with us and then leave to stay with her sister until her baby's born. Well, guess what people? xmas has come and gone and she is not showing any signs of leaving. She's driving me crazy. She stayed with us once before and it didn't work because she is lazy and can be selfish. I am trying to be patient and understanding because of her delicate condition ( she is entering into her ninth month) but it is wearing thin. I am constantly having to pick up after her, clean up behind her. She is eating us out of house and home and doesn't seem to mind that dinner was not cooked for her alone ( their are five others living here also, including my 12 yr old grandson and my 6 1/2 month pregnant daughter.
If I ask her to leave I'm a bitch, if I ask her to clean up behind herself she starts crying and say's " she's not trying to be a burden". Quite frankly that " poor me" routine is making me want to scream. Tell me what to do please.

Answer Question
 
debnich501960

Asked by debnich501960 at 11:49 PM on Dec. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (861 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Just ask her what are her plans. Reminder her that you thought she was going to her sisters and you are just trying to figure out was is going on since you were told that she was going after Christmas. Do not let her use the "trying not to be a burden" speel justify anything, nor do you have any reason to be her maid. I believe that she knows that her sister will not do all that you are doing so she is taking full advantage of you. You and your daughter need to discuss the issue of having her friend move on to her sister's immediately.
    guyandtoni01

    Answer by guyandtoni01 at 11:59 PM on Dec. 27, 2010

  • My daughter talked to her the other day about it and she did pack up most of her things but she has not made a move. She talks to her sister every day and went so far as to have my daughter take her to her sister's house the other day but only to bring her niece her to spend the night. She says her sister doesn't really want her there and then the water works began. She has taken over my daughter's bedroom and now my daughter is sleeping in my bed and I have been moved to the sofa. I am going to try talking to her tomorrow because if I do it tonight, I may forget about her delicate condition and same something I may not ever be able to take back. I just finished cleaning up the bath tub after her shower.
    debnich501960

    Comment by debnich501960 (original poster) at 12:06 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Fuck that. You can try and find some places she can go like a pregnant shelter or something. She will only get worse once the baby is here. just help her that way so the baby wont be out in the cold and pray for her.
    Jazmineamomma

    Answer by Jazmineamomma at 12:27 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Tell her and find some shelters where she can go or find some housing for low income families. I wouldn't worry about saying something you can't take back. She's obviously using you and doesn't care about the consequences of her actions.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 1:32 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • agreed
    FITmama2B

    Answer by FITmama2B at 1:41 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Sorry but it sounds like she is taking this to far sit down and talk to her.Explain to her how you feel tell her that you understand that she is pregnant but she is going to have to respect your wishes if she wants to be there.Because if you don't tell her how you feel you will just bring down and scream!And that won't be good on you and your family.
    trailoftears

    Answer by trailoftears at 2:12 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • take her to apply for income based apartments! the good thing about most of these apartments is she can't use the excuse that she's pregnant and has no job! and tell her if she doesn't want to feel like a burden then she can clean up after herself and help around the house if you don't want to tell her have your daughter talk to her
    mom2eas

    Answer by mom2eas at 4:55 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Where is bio dad? Let him take care of her or her mom. Do they still have homes for unwed moms? Does she live in a dorm or apt at school? Send her back to school if she has a place to live there.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:46 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Find her somewhere else 2 go. She has taken your kindness for a weakness. Let her know that her mootcing days are over & then show her the door.

    NubianQueen78

    Answer by NubianQueen78 at 7:38 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I took the advice given to me. She, my daughter, and I sat down this afternoon to have a little chat. She will be leaving my home on Saturday when her boyfriend arrives and going to her sister' s until she has the baby and she, he, and the baby are moving to St. Louis until school resumes August.
    debnich501960

    Comment by debnich501960 (original poster) at 12:30 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

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