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3 Bumps

borrowing money from family...

Ok so a few months ago I got DH and i in a REALLY terrible mess (financially) I screwed up really bad and we ended up having to borrow about 10K from his sister. (she offered) What i did was really wrong. I know that and there is a really really long story behind it but this is where we are at now and i don't know how to handle it. We have already paid his sister $7800.00 and have agreed to pay $500.00 a month for the next few months to pay her completley off but, now she is starting to be REALLY nosy about EVERYTHING and making comments that i feel are for one rude and two none of her buisness for example we bought dd new shoes (for 5.50 on sale) and his sister made a comment about how we can afford things like that but we can't throw a little extra money her way each month. So in your opinion when you owe someone money and you have an arrangment and you are sticking to it does the person you borrowed money from have the right to hold it over your head and question EVERY little thing you do? Oh and also i want to let you know that i don't think it would be rude or wrong of her to simply ask us if we could do a little more but, i think the passive agressive digs at us is wrong...if you need more info just ask...I don't know if i gave enough info. Thanks!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:16 AM on Dec. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • I know people like this keep doing what you are doing get her paid off and off your back.GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:19 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • As long as you are paying her the agreed upon amount each month, she should keep her trap shut. But will she... probably not. Now you know in the future to work as hard as you can to avoid having to borrow even a cup of sugar from her.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:19 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I agree that if you are following through with the arrangements that you made with her, that she doesn't have the right to question other money that you spend. As long as she gets the money you agreed to pay her each month, it's none of her business. Since you have paid her so much, if you can possibly afford to pay her off sooner to get you off of your back I would, but if not, there's not much you can do but grit your teeth and make your scheduled payments.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:20 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • If you have an arrangement and are sticking to it than she has no place to talk. I would sit her down and explain that you really appreciate her help, howeverif she is not happy with the arrangement than she should let you know now and not make comments, because they are hurtful. or if you dont want to do that, grit and bear it and pay her back as soon as you can and if she still makes comments after you pay her back, tell her its none of her business
    leksismommy

    Answer by leksismommy at 1:25 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • We are sticking to the agreement and we have also made cut backs in other aspects of our life so that we can do little things like take dd to the zoo (you know family stuff) and SIL looks at facebook and freaks out every time we do anything. She is driving me crazy and DH thinks that we have no place to tell her to shut her mouth because we owe her money....and i just don't know how much longer i can put up with it. I appreciate that she helped us but IMO that doesn't give her the right to treat us like crap.

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:28 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • If you get a decent tax refund back, pay her back and shut her up!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • if you are sticking to your word, its not right of her but she did you a favore and shes obviously holding it above your head... sux but you gave her that invite by agreeing to take the money.. not much you can do other than try to ignore it
    FITmama2B

    Answer by FITmama2B at 1:30 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Pay her off and don't borrow money from her again. Then the opportunity to feel like she saved you, or can make your financial decisions for you will not present itself again. Problem solved.
    badgirl44654

    Answer by badgirl44654 at 1:35 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • We are planning on paying her back with our taxes and i can't wait! I just needed to figure out how wrong i would be if i called her out and told her to stop treating me like crap ...especially in front of dd cuz that pisses me off more than anything when she makes her comments in front of dd.

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:46 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I'd wait until you pay her off, and then let her know you appreciated the help, until you were insulted in front of your child.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:51 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

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