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Why do so many people make excuses for kids bad behavior??

I go to answer questions on here and I see so many moms come on and here and say "oh all teens are rude" "oh all boys that age are mean and disrespectful" "its normal for girls to act like that and talk back" etc etc it goes on and on........ I just don't get it.
Don't parents realize, that from practically day 1 you need to teach your kids good manners and respect? and Being 100 % consistent in punishment is key to raising well behaved well rounded adults??
There is a difference between punishment and abuse.
Punishment and consequences teaches them how to behave, but boundaries also make them feel safe. I think it is more abusive to not punish kids than to punish them. Kids NEED boundaries
If you have a 3 y.o. (insert any childhood age) you are not raising a 3 y.o. you are raising an adult!!
And it is up to you as the adult to teach your kids right from wrong and that means growing up yourself and giving them a great example.

Yes kids will test the boundaries. And you as a parent HAVE to be there to keep that boundary in place. Do boundaries change??...Yes they do, BUT the parent is the one who decides when, where and how those boundary lines change. Not the kids!!
Do not let your child hit you....tell them from an early age...stop!! that is not okay!! If they are naughty/disrespectful punish them, take something away that is of value to them !! even if it means the whole family loses out.
I guarantee the tougher and more consistent you are when they are younger the easier you will have it when they are older. If you cannot control your 3 ,4, 5, & 6 y.o. how in the hell will you be able to control them at 13,14,15 & 16.
If your kids are still living at home and you are supporting them, then they are NOT YOUR friends! They are your kids there is a line there. If you have to give birth in order to have friends that there is something seriously wrong.

Oh I am sure I will have pissed off a few people on here.....why because the truth hurts and they see themselves in here. Parenting is hard work. Its a 24/7 job. You get no sick leave or vacations. If you can't do it right maybe you shouldn't do it at all.
making the kids is fun, raising them right is hard work. Every one I know who doesn't take the job of parenting serious ends up with kids in trouble . Kids who become parents at young teens. and then the bad cycle continues.
I have a 23 y.o. son he is a good kid, respectful of his parents. He goes to college and holds down a job. He can cook for himself, clean up after himself and do his own laundry ( he even has teaches friends at college how to do laundry because parents sent their kids to college with out basic housekeeping skills??????????
He would never talk rude to me or his father. He is not perfect,not at all. But he knows his manners, can hold a job, make friends, he knows right from wrong is not a father and has never been in jail. He supports himself, has his own place is not on PA.
He told me when he was 18 or 19 that as a kid he hated that I was tough on him and that I had standards I expected him to live up to. But he saw the real world and was thankful I cared enough about him to give him the tools he needed to succeed in life


Asked by justgrape723 at 8:16 AM on Dec. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 18 (6,456 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (32)
  • way to go

    100% agree!! 


    Answer by layh41407 at 8:21 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Well Great for you this was WONDERFUL!!!!! I think people just have more excuses for why they don't want to work harder to raise their kids right. It takes work and i think people would rather say that's the way kids are then actually do the parenting to make them good kids.

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 8:27 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Well said and to the point.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:29 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • bow down


    Answer by Bethsunshine at 8:36 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • b/c kids so bad now a days that parents give up. i have a 5 yr old who is terrible, and im almost at that point where he can go live somewhere else! lol.
    but im not one of those moms who just let my kid run rapid and do whatever he wants.
    i've said it before and i'll say it again... if we were allowed to discipline our children like they did 40 yr ago, we wouldn't have half the problems we have now with kids and teens. and i don't mean beat them, thats not right. i mean, real discipline. now if you look at your kids cross eyed, cps and everyone is involved....rediculous!

    and i didn't read the whole thing, but what i did read, i agree with you!

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 8:46 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • admckenzie
    the issue isn't that teens act out, the issue is that parents leave it as an excuse and do not correct the behavior because of the "well that's what teens do" attitude.
    when my older boys were teens, they tried crap, but I laid down the law and grounded their butts off if I had to. I was told by other parents that I would cause them to rebel and they would hate me and i should just let them act that way because that's what teens did.
    Guess whose kids are responsible adults and guess whose kids still act like kids even at 22?

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:56 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • You're very awesome for taking the time to write that. I completely agree and I have always thought the same. Everyone is so lazy now a days and they just let their kids do whatever they want. They don't know that not correcting them today will have reprocussions tomorrow? Those are the parents who end up crying because their kids committed a crime or ended up as drugees. MOST of the time, not always, it's the parent's fault that their kids have issues. No one cares to connect anymore. Not even with their kids.

    Answer by nqmochafrappe at 12:47 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Sorry but I did my Master's thesis on what adolescent kids go through and it's normal when they act out at that time of their life. I'm not excusing their behavior. I had 3 kids of my own and they did it too but I got their attention and let them know it wasn't acceptable. We have to train them to act in an acceptable manner even when going through this normal erratic time for them. They are going through so many changes. It's up to parents to help them through it not punish them as though they are doing it just to be mean. I'm giving a REASON they act that way NOT AN EXCUSE.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:50 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • ha ha ha we have a troll on here. Who feels the need to vote down every answer !! I guess I hit too close to home for them. oh well they will soon run out of 'down votes'
    Darn, and I was getting to like the idea that I might have a CM stalker. I've been getting down votes out the wazoo this morning!!

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:47 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I agree with you completely!

    Answer by shanapiv at 4:55 PM on Dec. 28, 2010