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Not really an easy question but..

My husband overall is a very wonderful man, but he does a lot of things that really annoy, disappoint, or just plain upset me...how can I stop feeling overly hurt about it? How can I just let it go and move on? Any advice would be appreciated..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Nov. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Try talking 2 him about it that always help. If u need a ear im here.
    poobaby

    Answer by poobaby at 12:20 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Communication is key, there will always be some things that will irritate you though some of them you just should try to look past.
    Lizzie32390

    Answer by Lizzie32390 at 12:22 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I was told to always hold my husbands hands and tell him what's on my heart. Be honest.
    KayliesMommy403

    Answer by KayliesMommy403 at 12:22 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • well first talk to him about it and be open for him to say what annoys him , but mostly what helped me is i prayed about the stuff and asked God to help me get over it , i have alot of pet peeves like leaving the cabinet doors in the kitchen open he always did and i hated and yelled and once i prayed he kind just started closing them for me and he will tell me he could fix his bad habbits for me but i had to fix mine for him as well
    almts915

    Answer by almts915 at 12:24 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • you posting this question here makes it sound very much like you are afraid to communicate with him... like you fear rejection or ridicule, but if your husband is wonderful he will listen. if you don't tell him, he won't know. my hubby and i disagree on a couple things and on one in particular i just said you don't need to understand or agree, but this is very important to me and i am hoping you will respect my feelings. sounds like you are lacking in confidence about having negative feelings. i understand that... too long to get into. one tool i found helpful in figuring out what i really want and what's really going on is to make some columns: what is the situation, what am I thinking, what am I feeling, what is my choice....
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:29 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • try looking at those things in a different way. find the things that define him and try to enjoy it. my dh has things that bother me but i just look at them as being the things that make him who he is, i used to get mad, now i just try to smile and know that i love him.
    bubblebean

    Answer by bubblebean at 12:33 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • be honest he may not know these things bother you
    lifeisgood176

    Answer by lifeisgood176 at 12:52 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • The thing is when I talk he just listens which is ideal right? Yes, it is to a certain point, he will sit silently listening when I want feedback or a response...he is just not a word person (its not that he's really not listening) he really doesn't know what to say! His parents never fought or argued in front of him so life growing up was peachy...I'm thinking he just doesn't know what to do with confrontation...ugh I don't know, I think his calmness and lack of response is what makes me draw away so much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • let him know that you would appreciate if he could give you feedback. so many women complain their husband's try to fix everything when they just want them to listen... lol you have the opposite problem. you may want to evaluate your need to have a confrontation...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 1:52 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Communication is key! Dr. Phil puts it this way; The times when we are upset, hurt, or let down are times when we had a certain expectation of that someone...they failed to meet it...but they don't know they failed because they did not know what you were expecting in the first place. You have to tell him what it is you are upset about and what your expectation was. In the future, try letting him know your expectations ahead of time..he will be able to tell you if he can meet it or not.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:53 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

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