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am i wrong?? vent....

so it is the holidays and i think because my ex husband and i are so close [friend wise] it would be nice to have him come over to MY house and open presents with our 21 month old...mind you all, my mother and her boyfriend, and my sister and her husband were also there...we thought it would be good for our daughter, and were thinking of HER, well my question is, my boyfriend, whom i've been seeing for about 7 months got angry with me, said it was 'weird' and he wasn't comfortable with it, thought it was just 'not right'...but get this, he is currently down south at his EX WIFE'S house, sleeping in her house [she has a fiance] so he can spend the holidays with his SON, how am i wrong? isn't it almost the same thing? and ian [ex husband] isn't staying over, he just drove over for xmas, and left after she opened her gifts....maybe im being irrational, or maybe he's just being an idiot...what do you ladies think? do u think he's being pathetic, or did i overstep my boundaries!

 
Cowbell88

Asked by Cowbell88 at 11:32 AM on Dec. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,791 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • I don't think you are wrong, it is exactly the same thing he is doing.....double standard at it's best.....
    older

    Answer by older at 11:36 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Kick him to the curb.

    Sound like it will be too much drama already, it has only been six months. If I were you, I would leave now, before it gets worst.

    I think what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

    If he can do it why can't you.... I would not put anything else into the relationship, it is your relationship but a word of advice it don't get any better.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 11:35 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • both are a little unusual but if it works for you then fine, I would tell him that if he is not ok with your ex comming over to open presents then you are not ok with him STAYING at his ex's house.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 11:38 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • i think its a double standard. he can sleep at his ex wife house and your daughters father can't come and see his daughter open presents. please. he has to grow some balls. just don't worry about it. its over and you were not wrong. if he brings it up just say well if you can do what is best for your child i can certaining do what is the best interest for mine.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 11:39 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • So why does he think it is ok for HIM to sleep at his ex's but yet have a fit when you want your ex over for a short visit? I think your bf is being a stupid, controlling idiot and he needs to suck it up and realize that your ex is a part of your life and will be for many, many years to come and if he does not like it too bad! Personally I think it is nice that you and the ex are on good terms and you wanted your daughter to have all of her family around (dad included) for Christmas.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:39 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Sorry Cowbell, I got it all mixed up. You need to set him straight. There is nodouble standard. He wants things both ways. Sorry for my confusion. I am glad I went back and sorted it out.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:57 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • You are not wrong. You are doing what his best for your child. This Christmas my brother's daughters and their moms spent Christmas eve with us. It is not weird when everyone gets along and does what is in the best interest of the child. Your bf needs to grow up and get rid of his double standards. I would rethink the relationship with him.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:34 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • yep he is being an idiot
    2lilbumblebees

    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 11:35 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • wow talk about double standards he is sleeping in her house and your ex just came over to open presents it is the same thing. Is he jealous? I would sit down and say the children come first as you and your ex have made that clear like he and his ex have their plan as well.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:39 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • thanks ladies, i thought so too, i just needed a group to agree with haha. yeah, he's usually a great guy, but that, nah, it's like a jealousy thing or somethiong....get real, if i'm not over here thinking you're sleeping with your ex, why should you think i am with mine? we've been split for almost a year, yeah its sad, but you know i got over it, he has his own little girlfriend, and she didn't come, but she also didn't have a 'shit fit', glad you girls think so too! :] we were thinking of paiton's feelings, not ours, and he is doing the same thing in texas, and worse, he's actually sleeping over at her and her fiance's place, and he works , so am i to not trust him? no, cos i dont have a reason to, but i love when i'm suspected.
    Cowbell88

    Comment by Cowbell88 (original poster) at 11:40 AM on Dec. 28, 2010

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