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2 Bumps

Any other stressed out mama's?

I'm so sick of my fiance not helping me around the house and with the kids. Just because he works full time does not give him a ticket out of being a parent. We got into a fight last night about it, and it got really ugly. I just want to feel appreciated and thanked for everything I do.

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sugaree

Asked by sugaree at 12:33 PM on Dec. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,457 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • you want to be thanked for everything you do?????

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • that's not the point. but thank you for your sassy, anonymous comment. get bent.
    sugaree

    Comment by sugaree (original poster) at 12:36 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I know how you feel. I am a SAHM 24/7. When he gets home he flops his feet up on the couch til time to go to bed. We never get an off day. Any time the kids get into it or ask to do something he sends them to me. It's alsmost like we are seperated and just has the Dad title and not doing jack.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I know what you mean. My fiance gets home so late from work, that the kids are already in bed, but it's the next day that bothers me the most. He thinks that because he gets home at midnight that he shouldn't have to wake up in the morning and help with the kids. I don't expect him to be up at 6am, but he would go to bed at midnight whether he was working or not. It just seems like he uses work as an excuse to get out of helping me out.
    sugaree

    Comment by sugaree (original poster) at 12:38 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Yes it was a bit snarky... but do you hear yourself???


    You sound like a teenager... me me me me.


    What about him? He has the financial burden of a whole family on his shoulders... do you know what that is like? I think perhaps you two need to appreciate each other. Im a sahm and have been for almost 16 yrs my HUSBAND works a TON and now owns his own business which means he NEVER gets a break. We have a mutual respect and appreciate what each person brings to the table we dont whine like teenagers to each other about who does more.. that ends up ruining a relationship.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I myself do feel appreciated for the things I do when I get to go out to dinner or a movie. It is different with men, they think they need to be recognized and thanked for everything they do. Mine, I take the garbage out it is just a regular duty, but when he does it, he makes sure I know about it.
    badmoparmom

    Answer by badmoparmom at 12:42 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • im a sahm my husband works long hours he leaves kids are asleep he comes home there in bed but theres dinner and a clean house bills are paid ( the best i can ) and errands are done. he would wonder why i was tired and sore. we would fight about this kind of stuff and i end up telling him must be nice to be a part time parent. i also help with his 2 kids and deal w/ his xwife ( we live 3 mins from them ) so i babysit alot so she can have a life..( dont ask ) i get stressed out about things not my dh. the best thing that happend recently i went on vacation for 6 days to florida thanks to my mil. and he had to deal with the kids bath them put them to bed feed them he had to play my role. by night 2 he called me hopeing i was haveing fun but thanked me for everything i do and didnt know how i did it all, take care of the kids (2 full time and 2 part time ) and clean the house make dinner and deal with life lol.
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 12:45 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I am now a single mom, with two crazy kids, but when I was with my ex-husband he never helped with anything and we constantly were fighting about him helping because "his job was harder and he worked all day" Like you said, thats no excuse for not being a parent. That was only part of the reason I left him, but it was a huge deal, I figured I feel like a single mom, I might as well be one. Now, I don't really feel its fair to say "single mom" Although that is the technical term for what I am my boyfriend (and one day husband) Helps me mor ethan the kids dad ever has in his life... He's amazing and makes me feel appreciated. Its unrealistic to want to be thanked for Everything you do, however you should be shown that your work as a mom is appreciated, that youre doing good and its noticed. As a mom when that doesnt happen you start to feel, why try so hard if he doesnt even notice me and the work i do?
    RockerMomToTwo

    Answer by RockerMomToTwo at 12:46 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Of course it's about me. I said that I was stressed... I just want some appreciation. I do everything. I have his clothes already in the bathroom for when he gets home from work so he can take a shower immediately, I take care of all of the bills, everything to do with the kids, go to school full time, keep a clean house. While he works less than 40 hours a week and sleeps everyday until noon time or later. If I even go try to wake him up or ask him a question he freaks out on me. That is not mutual respect, so I was wondering if I was the only one feeling this way.
    You, 'Anonymous', sound like someone who thinks she knows what she's talking about, but doubts herself enough to remain anonymous.
    sugaree

    Comment by sugaree (original poster) at 12:47 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I do not literally want to be thanked for EVERYTHING I do. That's not what I was saying. I want to be appreciated, because I know damn well he would not be able to do what I do all day.
    sugaree

    Comment by sugaree (original poster) at 12:49 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

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