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Potty training question... she's freakin' 2 1/2!

My daughter is 2 1/2 and is throwing a fit right now because I told her she had to leave her diaper off and wear either training pants or panties because she's going to go potty in the potty today.

She has fought this and fought this. I have avoided pressing the issue because I didn't want to hurt her feelings or traumatize her or anything, but she's 2 years and 7 months old and has only pottied in the potty once of her own accord. She always wants the reward (a sticker) but she doesn't want to potty. She absolutely refuses to use the potty. I already had to stop using her cloth diapers because she was getting horrible rashes and nothing I did stopped them, and she's quickly growing out of the size 5 diapers that we've been buying.

Is it a bad thing to start to push this issue? She is developmentally ready, she knows what the potty is, she sees mommy pottying... but she refuses to do it.

What do I do here? Do I let her get her way and keep wearing diapers until she decides it's finally effing time or do I push this issue and get her trained?

The other issue is that she will probably be entering day-care soon, and they usually want kids potty trained by this age. If she's not potty trained then she will have to be in a class with much smaller kids than her.

Thoughts? Advice?


Asked by Ati_13 at 12:44 PM on Dec. 28, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 24 (21,184 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I wouldn't fight w/ her to do it! It will only push her away from it. They will do it when ready. My son was 3 before he was potty trained. Each child is different and will get it at different times. Its not worth the fight and stressing over it! Have you tried doing a potty chart w/ her? That worked great w/ my son, he loved being able to put the stickers on himself! Best of luck mama!

    Answer by Tiffany237 at 12:48 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • make it fun and make a really big deal about it. have her pick out her own big girl panties. my little one is younger but i already have started a long time ago. but anyways, just really make a big deal about it and have her throw away her own diapers. i know it can be frustrating but really try to just talk on her level. some kids don't potty train right away. like i said i have not really pushed yet because mine is not evne two yet but i think she will do it eventually. just put on the fun panties. the big girl panties and see what happens. good luck and hang in there. she will get it. its one of the hardest things a parent has to do.

    Answer by lambdarose at 12:48 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Sounds to me like she's not ready for potty in general.

    Answer by leksismommy at 12:49 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Look, mine is three and a half and we're still not totally trained.
    Daycares here won't even take a three year old that isn't potty trained unless the child is developmentally delayed in some way, and at that point they want medical confirmation and you pay considerably more.
    Kids do it when they're ready. Forcing it can be extremely traumatizing for both of you. There's no reason to do it.
    When mine was refusing, I put on a movie he really liked, put him in a long shirt with no diaper or undies, put the potty out in the living room and let him go at it. It took about three days (and a lot of carpet cleaners) but he got it. We still have accidents, usually on the order of 2-3 a week, and we're in trainers at night.
    It shouldn't be a fight. If it's a fight, she's not psychologically ready.

    Answer by Jenny-talia at 12:50 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • All I can tell you is that my daughter was around the same age as yours, and I was pushing and sticker-charting and bribing and begging and fussing....and none of it got me anywhere. After a couple of months of this--which were very stressful months for me!--I sat her down and told her that I give up, that I was just going to put her back in diapers because she wasn't cooperating and that she could let me know if she ever wanted to use the potty. I was completely defeated (I had a newborn at that time too, so that made things even tougher). Anyway, she said okie-dokie and got back in her diapers. About 2 weeks later completely out of the blue, she comes up to me and says "Mommy, I have to use the potty". And that was it. She used it from that day forward and never went back to diapers. I'm not trying to say that is the solution w/ your child, but it was for mine. She needed me to stop pushing and for it to be HER idea.

    Answer by vicesix at 12:50 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Don't push her. Leave it alone for a month. 2.5 seems like such a big kid and is from where they started out, but really she is very young. When we pushed it with our dd, the smallest thing would set her back. She finally trained at just about 3. And then she was night trained very shortly afterwards.

    With my youngest he showed no interest until the week before his 3rd bday. I saw that he was playing with his siblings and the older kids who were over all morning and his diaper was still dry. I put him on the potty and voila. I gave him until the diapers were all gone to get used to it before switching to underwear. The whole process took 3 weeks.

    Is she staying dry through naps and long stretches of time during the day? If yes, then she is physically ready. Some kids are physically ready but not ready to be really big kids. A few weeks might give her the security she needs.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 12:53 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Jenny, there IS a reason to do it if I can't get her in day care if she's not potty trained. She will HAVE to be in day care, I don't have a choice on that. That scares me... I'll be calling a day care today and seeing if they take a 3 year old who's not potty trained :S

    Comment by Ati_13 (original poster) at 12:54 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Balagan, I don't understand what staying dry has to do with it. Of COURSE she's not staying dry, she's in diapers! She has no motivation for staying dry. She pees as soon as she needs to. She stays dry for as long as she doesn't need to pee... sometimes an hour, sometimes 2 or 3, but not for hours at a time. She has no incentive to hold it. I've read that other places and it makes no sense to me. Staying dry = ready, but if they were staying dry I wouldn't need to worry about potty training lol.

    Comment by Ati_13 (original poster) at 12:56 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Potty training 101 - never make it into a moral issue.

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:17 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • pull ups dd is 2 and 2 months and she is starting to wear pull ups.

    Answer by knagsmom at 2:45 PM on Dec. 28, 2010