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I don't want to meet his family again! Is it ok?

After 2 years of long-distance-relation, my bf asked me to leave my job & family, relocate and marry him.
In these 2 years, he didn't tell his family, friends and colleagues he was in a relationship.
His home is FULL of family pics IN EVERY ROOM. When he visited his Mom & family he could never speak to me on the phone, although we were in different countries for so long.

I wrote about 14 warm, loving letters to his mom, which he never gave her.

One month after our wedding we visited her home but she had no idea about us and was cold, unemotional.

She asked me funny questions as to my background, religion etc.

My husband did NOT try to keep a balance, e.g. by telling her "Come on Mom, what are these questions?". He said he heared nothing or was not there or did not understand.

He's told me all about his family history, hobbies, etc. He told them NOTHING about me, although I am attractive, have a good job, good education etc. 

 When his family calls, they NEVER say Hi to me, NEVER ask to talk to me.


NOW I DONT WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, AND HE WANTS TO DIVORSE ME.

WHAT'S WRONG?





 
lillyblue111

Asked by lillyblue111 at 1:26 PM on Dec. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,690 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • im sorry sweetie but he dont deserve you a real man wouldnt hide you from his family he be proud of his wife & atleast put some pics of you in his house & to relocate you to where he leaves just so he can not show you off he is being selfish but i hope everything works out for you mama
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 2:37 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • You picked the wrong man...
    older

    Answer by older at 1:28 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I say something is wrong with him and would welcome divorce. As man that kept me hidden for 2 years and didnt even tell his familyhe was married is no man worth loving or being with
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:29 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Why would he not tell his family, friends or co workers of your relationship?
    Wouldnt that throw up some red flags???
    Why would you relocate and marry this man, if these things were going on? Why not live with him for a little while, get to know him and his family and then decide if good decision to marry or not?


    Sorry if I sound rude, not my intention?
    MrsDAP

    Answer by MrsDAP at 1:29 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I hate to say this, but it sounds like he loves his family more than you. You probably thought you knew him but since you were in a long distance relationship you really didn't.
    HotMama330

    Answer by HotMama330 at 1:31 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • What's wrong? he's wrong. He was hiding you and now you have no relationship with his family---and he wants to divorce you? Divorce him. He needs to marry his mommy.
    charlottej

    Answer by charlottej at 1:37 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I'd say he's the problem on both sides of this issue. Imagine how his family feels that they knew nothing about you all this time?? They probably wonder why he hid you, and if he is ashamed of something to do with you, or if there is something wrong in the relationship that he didn't want to let them know about you. It's a very difficult situation, and he made it hard for you and hard for his family.

    It might be salvageable, if you even want to salvage this relationship, I'm not sure I would, but it would require you trying to be understanding of his family, because they are in just as difficult a position as you are. Your husband caused the problem at this point, not them.

    I think if you don't have kids, I'd get out. If you do, well....would he go to counseling with you?
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:37 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • You married the wrong man. This is what happens when people don't get to know their spouse when dating. You had a long distance relationship and didn't know enough about him to make an informed choice about marrying him. Too many think with thier heart and libido when their brain should be consulted when choosing a mate for life. I would divorce him and move on with your life and find someone who won't be ashamed of you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • :) Hey, Older, you've made me smile !!!

    I'm packing my stuff right now, but you make me laugh now,
    cause in 5 words you said it all !!!
    lillyblue111

    Comment by lillyblue111 (original poster) at 3:15 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Dear All, (My virtual friends + chat companions),
    Thank you for your wonderful support!
    Your comments help me see things on the light side !

    Yes, with friends like you life is beautiful !!!
    lillyblue111

    Comment by lillyblue111 (original poster) at 3:23 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

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