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2 Bumps

Is it stupid to want a divorce over this?

My son is special needs and doesn't do well with me. He says he hates me and only loves his father. His father works a lot and so he is with me a lot. I don't know what to do with him. WE have tried everything in every book but hte fact is we don't mix well, DS and I. He has temper tantrums/melt downs that last for up to an hour ans he screams and bites and kicks his door and he has started hurting his younger sibling. NO matter what I do I can't get hin to stop and he is getting to big for me to carry to his room when he gets out of control. I want a divorce so DH can deal with DS on his own and not me. I love DH but DS is tearing us apart and this may be best. FOr me to be out of DS picture.DH says I am being slefish but I can't deal with this child especailly if he is hurting our other child. DH is not home enough to understand.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Dec. 28, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (41)
  • Im sorry but, I believe you are being selfish. You are giving up way to easily. Im sure it is very hard with a child with special needs, but to just abandon him, or have your SO "deal with him" himself is wrong. When you got married it was for better or for worse....
    TsMommy428

    Answer by TsMommy428 at 1:33 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • are you the same anon who posted about a month ago about how you hate your ds and wanted to give him up for adoption? if so you really need to go to anger managment because you come on here bitching about your son, then after all the moms tell you what a POS you are you say "i am calm now and I love him, its just hard" If you're the same woman, get over yourself and take care of YOUR child!
    If your a different woman, sorry for the above rant, and I do think it is a crappy reason to get a divorce. how can the two of you as parents, and a unit, be better seperated? I think maybe you two should talk about switching roles, he be a SAHD and you go to work, so he can either gain perspective on your situation, or find that it is a better solution all around for your family. I really hope it all works for the best with you and your family
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 1:36 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • How can they deny you? It's the LAW.
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 1:51 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I think you're being selfish and throwing in the towel way to easy. Try counseling or behavior classes. I dont undersatnd how you can just turn your back on your own child,
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:30 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I would talk to a counsler... GL and I'm sorry you're going through this
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 1:31 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Yeah I don't think it is a good reason. I think before you do anything drastic you need to seek help for yourself. Go talk to someone and then maybe have your husband join you. If you are not already you might also want to get your son into see someone as well.
    KyliesMom5

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 1:32 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • oh wow. This is a tough one. I can understand your wanting to be away from it, but it sounds like your want to divorce your child---not your dh. You do have some legitimate concerns over safety but I would consider a group home for the son if you simply cannot manage him, rather than break the family apart, which really won't solve the problems--and will create more interms of finances; your other child, etc...
    charlottej

    Answer by charlottej at 1:32 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Did you ever consider finding a group home for your son? NOT forever. Just until his behaviors are under control? There are places specifically for families in your situation.
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 1:33 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I can't empathize with having a special needs child, but to want out of your son's life because he's too much to handle seems sad and ridiculous. You can be stressed, frustrated, overwhelmed - all those things, but to be mad at your husband for working and wanting to divorce him because you don't want to deal with your own son? Wow. Not bashing, because like I said I can't imagine, but I really suggest getting some help, be it a counselor who can help you deal with your feelings, or a nurse/nanny that can help you with your son.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • You are NOT being selfish in this. Until someone has had to deal with a child like this everyday they have NO ROOM to judge you. I really don't think you are the one who needs help (as in counseling) it is your son. I don't know if you can put in in a group home at 7, but that is where i have decided to put my brother when/if my parents are gone. You need to get your other kids away from him before he hurts them. Again, good luck. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. (c:
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 1:39 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

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