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2 Bumps

Why is sleeping with both my babies such an issue?

I have a 15 month old and a 27 month old. Neither sleep well. It's nap time now, and for days my 15 molth old wakes after about 45 minutes and cries and doesn't get back to sleep. Some days my 27 month old doesn't nap at all, and night time, well, he maybe sleeps a solid 11 hours without waking and fussing once a week. I am at a loss. IDK what I did wrong along the way. If I tended to them too soon and they don't know how to soothe themself back to sleep. With my baby I laid him down immediately after a bottle and didn't rock him. He goes down okay but doesn't stay down long. At night he wakes after a few hours and it's the same thing. Maybe I have kids who just don't sleep well. I run a fan in both their rooms. Always have. It's beyond frustrating, aggitating, sad.... What should I do??

 
2BlondeBabies

Asked by 2BlondeBabies at 2:21 PM on Dec. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 25 (23,069 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Actually what youre doing is very good for your children. Studies have shown that children who are allowed to sleep with their parents until they are ready to sleep alone grow up more secure in themselves, with higher self esteems, and are actually more willing to try new things because of the security they feel. The benefits start to outweigh the risks at 12 years old. Think about that lol. 12 years old. Having your own room and what not is a new concept for children. Just even 50 years ago kids often had to share rooms with more then one sibling, and that included beds. I think people put way too much pressure on young parents these days over issues that dont need to be there. If it makes you feel better I have adult kids who when little slept with me until age 7 sometimes lol. I swear, before you know it theyll be in their own beds & you will miss snuggle time.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:34 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Ehh....my niece is almost 4 and is just recently starting to sleep well. Don't think it's something you did....some kids just don't sleep well. My daughter has been sleeping through the night since 4 months. Some babies just sleep better than others....just like adults.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 2:26 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • my 4 year old still doesn't sleep well. she never did from day one and still doesn't now. she goes to bed early (8 on school nights, 9 on weekends) but stays awake in her bed for hours. sometimes 11 pm. she's not bothering anyone though so what can i do about it kwim? then she wakes up most days before 7 pm. if she sleeps til 7:30 i call it sleeping in for her. i am like this in a way, i sleep very lightly and wake up early, and my mom is the same way, so is my grandma. it must run in our family or something! dont place the blame on you though, im sure it's nothing you did as a parent. hang in there!
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 2:28 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • BTW. We have a consitant and regular schedule. Days it deviates I understant that. My parents said I never slept through the night until I started kindergarten, not even as an infant did I sleep well. Frankly it just makes me angry. I think, Just go to sleep. I don't sleep more than 3 hours at night. Once in the last 2 years I got a good 8 hour stretch in. My husband is gone, we aren't back under the same roof for another month. Been this way, he gone more than around since we've been parents. I'm just exhausted. The pediatrician said let them lay there and cry it out, it's not hurting them. My dad doesn't sleep well either, never has. Going in to comort him prolongs it, with both of them. And I know at a year old 45 minutes isn't an good amt of a nap. He typically is an hour and a half, not sure what's the deal lately.
    2BlondeBabies

    Comment by 2BlondeBabies (original poster) at 2:30 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • My oldest sleeps in bed about every night now. But he still wakes a lot.
    2BlondeBabies

    Comment by 2BlondeBabies (original poster) at 2:31 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • When the boys are a little older my husband and I are going to put them in the same room, so they aren't alone. Even if it is to share a big bed. But that's not for another year or so, when they aren't both waking sooooo much. I think putting them together unless they Have to be, would add to the problem. LOL But who knows.
    2BlondeBabies

    Comment by 2BlondeBabies (original poster) at 2:54 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I had the same problem with my kids. I put them on a bedtime routine so now they look forward to it. Some nights my youngest would give me a hard time and I would have to let her cry herself to sleep. I hate when she cry herself to sleep but I just keep telling myself that I'm helping her to comfort herself. I use to run in their room back and forth and that was hell. Try starting a bedtime routine for them to see how it work.
    kewi86

    Answer by kewi86 at 6:03 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Human babies do not know how to 'soothe themselves' and a brief overview of the dysfunctional sleep habits of the Western world will adeptly demonstrate how deranged the idea of a 'self-soothing' baby is.

    Babies are not stupid, and their instincts work fine: they know that when they are alone, they are in terrible danger. They don't know about locks or the politeness of raiders who don't break windows... they only know they can be eaten or stolen and there is nothing they can do about it by themselves, and they NEED their parents close by all the time to be safe.

    The dysfunctional adaptations babies make are... well, amazing. Head-banging, persistent sucking (fingers, thumbs, tongues, lips, arms), biting, hair pulling, violent rocking. Whatever distracts them, really, from their terrible anxiety. Some kids are traumatized into paralyzed silence --a dissociated state.

    Sharing sleep with kids enables everyone to sleep.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:29 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

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