Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How to get sons father to leave me alone?

We arent together, he hasnt seen his son in months, I had a TRO but removed it so he could call about our son. I had to change my number so he would stop calling non stop. NEVER about our son, he only wants to complain about going to court and having to pay support(which I do not even get yet) He is court ordered to call a 3rd party, who will contact me and I will get back to him. Thats fine. But when I got back to him today, all he wanted was to chat like friends. I HATE him. He was abusive and cheated and it took me 5 yrs to get away. Im happy now and I dont want his drama. Hes not listening when I say I dont wanna be friends. I CANT be friends with him. Hes mean and just petty. How can I get him to only call when he wants to talk to our son? I am not his friend to call to chat about work and the new gf.


Asked by Collegemommy910 at 3:00 PM on Dec. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,875 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Can you set up a special e-mail, that you use only for him, and use that as the way he contacts you. That way you can respond only to things that have to do with your son, and you have written proof of anything he says or does that is out of line. Just make sure to respond carefully because he would have the same proof!

    Answer by ohwrite at 3:12 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Go back to court sounds like he is a stalker!

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 3:03 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • tell him exactly what you told us. say "the only reason we need to speak is about our son. if you're not calling to talk about our son, then have a good day and ill talk to you later" and hang up the phone if he doesn't grasp it. if he calls right back, don't pick up the phone. eventually he'll get the message. good luck.. i have "baby daddy" drama in my life too and it's no fun. he sounds a lot like your ex, only wants contact with me to harass me or belittle me. that's okay because the court takes more then half of his paycheck away to pay for our daughter that he doesn't care about. looks like its a win-win for me, i get every blessed day with our daughter and his money and he gets nothing by choice. im hoping you will have a similar outcome. good luck!

    Answer by tnm786 at 3:05 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • We have court this month for support and march for visitation. He has open visitation, he can see him everyday if he wants but its supervised and he doesnt want supervised so he hasnt seen our son since oct

    Comment by Collegemommy910 (original poster) at 3:05 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • You probably wont be able to.. he does it to be mean and to rub it in your face.. he train of thought process is telling him if you and him become friends you will drop everything DONT DO THAT he put you through hell.. simply tell him next time you talk to him you have no desire to chit chat with him and if it isnt discussing his son and his well being then you will not talk to him.. i have been through this.. i advise you to make a diary of everytime he calls and everything that he says and put the date and time in it for court... i would start that well weeks ago.. it will help alot when you go to court.. keep your guard up and dont let him in if you do he will run your life.. if you need anymore advice or just have ?s or anything just message me ... i can help you

    Answer by momof241988 at 3:05 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • you won't be able to. Inform him that you will only call back if he has a specific question about your son, and if he insists on talking about other things tell him why and hang up.

    Sounds like my ex who thankfully hasn't contacted me in two yrs now, the last time was when my son had just turned 1 and he called to ask about the Hospitals website of his birth, had his first pictures. Why idk, probably to show some new girl, instead of asking me of pictures of his 1st birthday, then he threatened to kill me when he found out my dh & I were dating lol.

    Just be consistent in only talking to him about your son and hang up when he refuses to stick to the subject.

    good luck

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 3:05 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • oh but he also got married and had another baby so the harassment has almost come to a complete halt since then. before that though i had to change my number because he was harassing me non-stop with bullshit lies and threats. maybe the new gf in your ex's life will help your case too!

    Answer by tnm786 at 3:06 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Been there done that. He doesnt want supervised cause he doesnt want to pay for it...Why did you cancel the TRO? Bad girl, go back to court and get an RO in place. He will talk your ear off all day long about how miserable it is that he has to pay child support and supervised visitation, thats till you put a stop to it. Document and make a paper trail for the judge. good luck

    Answer by beyondhopes at 3:09 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Lawyer had me remover the RO so he could call to talk to his son. Which he NEVER does

    Comment by Collegemommy910 (original poster) at 3:12 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • The lawyer should have never allowed that. I had an RO in place and he had certain times that he was able to contact the kids. Supervised visitation will set up guide lines and restrictions on him. Its the only way to get him off your back. Tell your lawyer you want to go after the RO, that you have had enough of his crap.

    Answer by beyondhopes at 3:21 PM on Dec. 28, 2010