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Depressed mom

What should I do? Sometimes (most nights) after the kids are in bed, I just think, "I hate myself".

I hate how I am with my kids mostly. I hate how irritable I am and how I lash out.

I want to homeschool next fall (first year) but I am SO doubting myself. I want them home and with me. But I am not a good mother. I have zero patience and really barely make it day to day. I get the superficial things done like trying to keep up with the house, but I don't do a good job.

What am I teaching my kids?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Jul. 6, 2008 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • thank you soooo much for the answers. i'm going to get into counseling if i can.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • Oh hon! Don't be so hard on yourself. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and the majority of us wish we were better. Oh and homeschooling is so much fun! (I miss it...might go back to it soon) If you want you can pm me about it.

    If you want you can try taking some St. Johns Wort (do not take it if you are taking an MAOI inhibitor as it'll make you OD). Its an herb that can help enhance your mood. I used to take it when my depression was really bad. It comes in pill form or as a tea. You can also buy it loose but that's really only good for a tea or if you're going to make something else with it.

    *hugs* If you need someone to talk to I'm here for you luv.
    amethystrse

    Answer by amethystrse at 7:57 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • I hear ya I am the same way, I don't have very good patience either, and it's what my mother taught me she's not a good mother at all, I could go into detail but it would take all night, i've learned to think before i speak, I tell myself is it really that necessary to punish them for something (depending on what it is) etc. i'll be happy to be your friend so we can talk more, i think it will help the both of us.
    workenmom

    Answer by workenmom at 7:58 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • I feel the same way some days. What I try to do is change what I did that day that made me feel like a bad mother. If I lost my patience then I try harder the next day to work on that. Some days are just a disaster. Some are great. I don't think any of us are perfect. Now if you continue to have feelings of worthlessness and irritability I would talk to your doctor because you may benefit from treatment.
    mamastefl

    Answer by mamastefl at 10:22 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • Wow, I feel just like you some days. If you are not a patient person, maybe leave the teaching to the teachers. I don't know how moms can home school. They must be saints. There is a depression group on cafemom that might lend support but by all means go see your doctor about some meds. Only thing with those is you might gain weight and lose your appetite for sex. I felt so bad about a week ago after my son and I got in a fight, I wrote my feelings. Not award winning writing but I realized when I went back and re-read it later that I felt so bad about things I said to my son. It helped me to read it and remember to not say anything that isn't useful.
    Ladiesusan1

    Answer by Ladiesusan1 at 10:24 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • Oh Depressed Mom,
    You are not alone!!!! I have battled w/ depression for a very long time!!! I do take meds and they help some but what I have noticed is a good network of ppl that I can talk to. My depression was so bad i would snap and yell at my kids for nothing or anything. I would lay awake at nite begging God to take me, I wanted out so bad! I love my kids that was never the issue my depression was!
    I am doing so much better now w/ meds and good friends and I now can enjoy my kids the way they were meant to be enjoyed. Do I still fight this battle? Yes every day, but it does get easier. I also joined MOPS it's a group for moms we meet once a week. You might want to contact churches and see if they have a MOPS (mothers of prescool & school age children) or any other support group. It really doesn't matter what your faith is they will reach out to you. Keep your chin up girl...I know easier said than done but you can do it!
    hnhead

    Answer by hnhead at 12:13 AM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I think all moms have those days but if all you said it true true then maybe you need a anti-depressant. Depression is real and it is treatable. They have anti-depressants that can save your life and assist you in changing the childhood your giving your children. I offer this because having a sad ,angry, resentful, unhappy parent is a tragic fate for children and for mommy. Please get advice from your doctor.
    Depression hurts everyone. It is your job to create all the memories your children will have someday.
    Good luck, please anytime if you need a friend.
    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 12:19 AM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • wow you sound like me. i want to homeschool too (my oldest will be 4 soon) but my depression is so bad that i yell for no reason sometimes and My house is a disaster area most of the time. i'm taking meds and i've started learning what makes it worse and avoid it if i can. also having somebody to talk to helps, and getting enough sleep and breaks during the day. if ever you want to talk i'm here for you.
    jersprincess

    Answer by jersprincess at 5:16 AM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • Do you have the time and resources for counseling? It's such a taboo, but can be so helpful in getting out frustrations and feelings that can be clouding and affecting other areas of one's life. The fact that you can see your problem is ample proof that you are a wonderful, loving mother who wants the best for her children and while it's human nature to nurture and care more for your children, you need to take care of you. I commend your desire to homeschool, but I'll say that, in my opinion, the timing doesn't seem right to start that unless you can find the time to care for the hurt and depression that is ailing you. I think that once you are able to confront those issues, you'll find you have the patience and happiness that would allow you to better manage and to have confidence in your awesome mothering skills. :) Good luck!
    CBradshaw

    Answer by CBradshaw at 8:14 AM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I think everyone would agree that we all feel the same way. There aeways, I just wanna lay down and give up, an the kids aggravate me every single day!! In my opionion raising kids is the most stressful job. Talk to your doctor, there are a lot of medications out there that help with stress and depression and he may also be able to recommend you to a counsler and they can help you work through your feelings. Just remember keep your head you are not alone. The first step is admitting you need help!! Good luck
    redtang912

    Answer by redtang912 at 9:04 AM on Jul. 7, 2008

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