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my husband is being very immature about what to name our son.. ive posted small things before, but its really out of hand now... i need some advice, i cant figure out what to do!

Sorry im anon.. i usually always post anon bc my SD mother is on here, and constantly follows me and looks at my stuff & I need some advice..w/o her knowing my business! (:

As many of you have seen, hubby & I are having our first boy in a few months.. and he wants to name him his name and have him be a junior. He suggested calling him Junior, which I dont know, because I had a dog for 10 plus years named Junior. also, I have never really liked the idea of naming a kid something, and giving him a complete different name than whats on his license, birth certificate, and everything. It works for some, but I just find it silly.

His first initial would be B. (very common name, nothing wrong w/ it, but i highly dislike common names where there are a ton of the same kid named that in the same class) not to mention it rhymes w/ my brothers name, so we already get hubby and brother confused. plus, his daughter, my SD, her name starts w/ a B as well, and is the same sound as hubbys...its just too much of the same thing.

So first name beginning w/ a B, (same name as my husbands) and middle name Eugene. Jr. All I get out of that is confusion, made fun of, & BJ=blow job. it would come up, and I dont want people calling my son BJ.

My husband is to the point where he is furious about me not being thrilled about naming my son B.Eugene Jr.

Eugene is a name that I feel like is for the older people, and just isnt anything that I like. I named all my dolls Eugene, and all my puppies, everything growing up was Eugene.. for a joke. that was a name my friends and I always picked when we were being silly, so it brings back memories of JOKES, not something I want for my son.

My husband now has his entire family telling me i am naming my child my husbands exact name. Its very overwhelming, and I know how cruel kids can be.

I grew up on the "in" crowd and hubby grew up on the "out" crowd and was constantly picked on. Esp. for his middle name Eugene. I have seen the way people treat others due to their names that just dont sound right.

I dont know what to do.. make my husband happy, and know what is lying ahead for my son and all the confusion of having so many people w/the same name and same sounding names the rest of our life? My husband wont pick ONE of his names, he has to have them both, he makes things very uncomfortable for me.. wont bother to look at any other names.. or suggestions.. its really hurting my feelings. He is pretty much saying "this is what our sons name will be" and thats it.

I cant believe how much immaturity has came from him over a name. He wont even talk to me about ANYTHING.. I feel like a NAME is really hurting our marriage & he wont talk, wont explain to me why he wants that name so bad, he is too busy getting his family to tell me thats what the name will be.

what do i do? :(

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Dec. 28, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I named my child after my husband and he was named after his father. I saw it as a kind and loving thing to do both for my husband, and his parents. It wasnt top of my list but in life there are greater joys in being loving than being right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • He should compromise. He is being very unreasonable and childish. It is your child TOGETHER not just his.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 4:14 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Do you have any idea how many dads don't give a flying flip about what their children are named? It's as much his right as it is yours, and if you can't agree on something, then let him name the boy.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:18 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • My DH wanted a junior too, and I didn't. What I said to him was "Honey, I love you, but I want our son to have his own name." I pointed out to him how his father and older brother (who are Sr. and Jr.) get each other's mail, and creditor calls...everything. I told my husband that although I love him very much, I wouldn't want to name our son Fredrick, because I just don't like the name.
    If I were in your situation, I would look my husband square in the eyes, and tell him that this baby is OUR baby..not only HIS baby, and that we must come to an agreement. Tell him that this argument is ridiculous and is no way to start a marriage. If he gets really mean, then remind him that "wife" does not translate to "doormat", and that you will not be treated like some kind of broodmare that only exists to birth his heirs and be silent. Ignore him for a time if you need to. You are equal in this relationship and as a future parent.
    brandyj

    Answer by brandyj at 4:39 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • My uncle's name is Eugene and was never picked on for it. However, I do have to say this. You are doing your child a huge disservice to give him someone else's name. I have the same name as my mom (which I really HATE) even though I was supposed to be named something else. My father didn't like it, and last minute he wrote a different name on birth certificate and couldn't think of one so wrote my mom's name.

    Let me tell you what aggravation this has caused me.

    *Your mail is never private
    *You will have to have a nickname or you won't know to whom people are directing questions, etc.
    *I had issues with wrong prescriptions, bills, car insurance and here's the best...
    *My mom's debts were on MY credit report. Oh yes, they don't always check SSNs or DOBs so this is something to watch like a hawk.

    I say it is your child, his family can butt out. Name your kid what YOU want.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 5:03 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Since you aren't asking him to give up on both names, just one, I would tell him that if he isn't willing to compromise like you are, then you will name him exactly what you want.

    I say this because when it comes to the birth certificate, the father has no say in what goes on it...even if you are married. So if he want's to be an ass, you can really make it hard on him.

    He should compromise.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 4:05 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Just pick something you like--you had to give birth and carry the kid, when he gives birth and carry the kid he can have the final say!! My ex wanted to name my DS Matrix or Rufus Carl(and call him RC)---I AM NOT KIDDING!!! lol I named him Luke!!
    blue_glass_mama

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 4:11 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • As long as the father is present at the birth of the child he does have a say what goes on ALL the paper work. It sounds like maybe you have some childhood issuse to over come "in cround" and he was not he was in "the out croud" sounds like high school stuff, yes kids can be cruel but if not the name it could be somehting else. sounds like you both are being imature of naming your son. Like 2 teens fighting over something. My son has part of his dads name in it it just seems to be traditional to do so especially if this man comes from a family who is old school.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I feel like if I pick the name, since he wont compromise, that I am doing something wrong by not making my husband happy. I also think he needs to change his ways of thinking.. and just talk to me about it, or any other names at least try listening.. he is being very hurtful & no longer loving because of a name. Its obvious he's a control freak about this name... & we are recently married.. its making me worry a lot... i cant believe anyone would act the way he is & im unsure of what to do. I dont get mad, i dont yell, I have never even said no.. i just have told him my concerns, and ever since then, he doesnt care about anything else but telling me thats his name.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:18 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • to anonymous.. there isnt any high school stuff going on, but the way we grew up is how it affects the ways we think and its a perfect example of our brains thinking differently.. nothing to do w/ "high school" stuff. & we arent fighting.. if you read what I said, he is being very HURTFUL & CONTROLLING.. no on is arguing, I refuse to argue w/ him over the NAME of a child. Im simply looking for a way to get him to TALK to me, or what I should do on how to go about handeling the way he is being. There is obviously some control issues going on here with him.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:21 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

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