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BF engaged to X within one year...why not me...

My BF was engaged to his X within one year of meeting her. We have been together 15 months..he says he wants to marry me...we looked at rings...he calls me his finance..he pays alimony money is tight...why do you think he has not asked the question..I do not understand why her after one year and I am still sitting here with no ring on my finger.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Nov. 10, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Maybe he learned a lesson from the first time. If things are going well between the 2 of you then I would not worry. You could also talk to him and see what he says. Maybe he does not realize that it bothers you so much. He may think that you understand that money is tight and that although he would love to buy you a ring he can not afford it right now.

    It sounds that his actions are telling you he wants to be with you. I would not worry and I would just be honest with him and talk with him about this.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 1:12 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Dont rush it. That was the mistake he made the first time and doesnt want to ruin it. If he talks about it then whats the hurry?? Obvioulsy his ex is his ex for a reason. Just be happy that you have a good relationship and your time will come :)
    Also if money is tight then thats prob your answer. Im sure hes not going to propose without a ring and is waiting til he can afford one. He prob wants to go all out and do it right when hes able
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 1:14 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • It wouldn't compare or push. He probably is a little more cautious and you should be grateful for that. when he is ready you will know he is ready and not just rushing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • sounds like he is serious about you and understanding the significance of getting married... know that when it does happen with you it will have much deeper meaning and commitment. marriage is a very different relationship, and i have had long-term live-in relationships prior to marriage. be patient. if you're worried about silly things in the past, you have some maturing to do imo that will help your chances of not getting divorced.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I am going to go with the first answer. Maybe he has learned not to rush into things.
    Also it's possible that he has something planned and it has to be at a certain time. My SIL kept asking everyone to hint to BIL about how it was time they got married. She did this for months. It turned out that he was planning this huge romantic proposal on their anniversary but he got called in to work, so he moved it to valentines day. I would say just be patient and don't feel the need to compare what you have with him with what he had with his ex. Sounds to me like a road to frustration. After all she is his ex for a reason.
    Liansmommie

    Answer by Liansmommie at 1:34 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Um, why is this all on HIM? You've looked at rings, talked about marriage - and you're waiting for some words? Is HE the one to decide you are going to get married? Is HE in control here or are you a partnership, a real team?

    Start planning the wedding!
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 1:45 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I have been with my BF for 7 yrs this month...when you find the answer please let me know!
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:48 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Disagree with Whimsey...a believe that the man should do the asking not the woman.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I think it's probably because he has all the benefits of marriage without the responsibility. If you want to be married and he's not interested, why are you still there?
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:05 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Be thankful that he's not rushing into it, so many guys cave in to the pressure! That's probably what happened last time, and he's smartened up!

    However, I would tell him it's not ok to call you his fiance until he's gotten down on one knee and given you a ring!
    KatieCrandall

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 2:08 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

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